Gronk, Actually

The recent workout in Los Angeles, with Tom Brady calling on Mr. Reliable, Robbie G, combined with the various photo ops from the ESPYS, the "what do I write about in July?" conundrum facing pigskin pundits and bobbleheads resulting in numerous will he/won't he pieces about Rob Gronkowski's potential return from retirement have even me wondering…

Well, will he? Won't he?

From the jump, I've held the belief Rob Gronkowski's retirement was the real deal so maybe it's just a variation on recency bias (the barrage of Gronk content) or maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part as training camp draws near but I've started to consider the view that Rob Gronkowski could return to the Patriots at some point during the 2019 season.

Conspiracy Theory

Bill Belichick is a man who has rules for everything, first among them being that no one player is more important than the team. Tom Brady skipping voluntary workouts is one thing. Giving a player, even one as great as Rob Gronkowski a pass for training camp, the preseason and all of September is another. 

If Gronkowski is "retired," though, Belichick avoids any hint of favoritism that might impact the locker room culture in Foxborough by having exceptions granted to Gronk. He doesn't need to use the IR Return spot on Gronk and can save that for another player/position. He also has a roster spot he can use for a player who might not make it through waivers to the practice squad. 

Everyone has a Happy Thanksgiving as Gronk returns for the stretch run!

If you think that sounds crazy, I don't think you've been watching NFL football for the last 20 years. We're talking diabolical supervillain Bill "Darth Hoodie" Belichick, here, the man who uses sub-paragraphs in the NFL Rulebook the way Satan uses codicils in his contracts for the souls of the damned, the man who hacked the 2016 presidential election, the man who sold the world, the man who crushed your pigskin hopes and dreams again, and again, and again, and smiled as you wept. 

Gronk 2.0

I don't know if you've heard this but Rob Gronkowski has lost some weight. Some pigskin pundits and bobbleheads have concluded this means Gronk's retirement is real.

Okay, but what if it's actually part of his "retirement" deal with Belichick that when he returns, he'll come back as the "move" tight end, avoiding further wear and tear as an in-line blocking tight end?

Having spent more time than I'd like to admit surfing the "Patriots Porn" on Youtube this offseason, I've had a chance to watch (and re-watch) a number of Rob Gronkowski highlights. You expect the "force of nature" aspects of Gronk's game; the broken tackles, carrying two or three defensive players struggling to bring him to ground. What struck me though was the number of clips where Gronk simply ran away from the defense. Not just linebackers but defensive backs. 

Gronk played in the slot or split wide at key moments for the Patriots throughout his career. His rare combination of size, strength, power, soft hands, catch radius, route-running, and speed made him the ultimate chess piece in the Patriots offense. 

Rob Gronkowski hasn't gotten any shorter and with his weight loss he might be just a little bit faster.

He's still too fast for a linebacker and too big for a cornerback to shut him down one-on-one.

It Practically Writes Itself

A Gronk return in November followed by a winning streak that culminates in yet another Super Bowl win is just so Patriots, isn't it?

And you thought you didn't need yet another reason to hate the Patriots.