I'm Trying

I’m trying. I’m not sure I’ll ever get to acceptance. Too many thoughts I doubt I can ever reconcile…

It bothers me just a little bit that I’m in the majority but I’m the one being told to chill out, that I’m wrong about Trump and the people who supported him, that I need to make accommodations, that I need to accept. It isn’t that I’m supposed to forgive and forget; I’m supposed to apologize.

Okay, I don’t want to believe 47% of the country are bigots. Unlike the voices scolding me for demonizing my fellow citizens, though, after this election I actually think it’s a fair question to ask. It’s worth just a few minutes of discussion, don’t you think? If you voted for Trump you either embraced the hateful rhetoric or you had to look past it. If you looked past it you’ve come up with some rationalization that includes enumeration of your many black, Latino or non-Christian friends. You’re a good guy. If you saw a woman being raped and did nothing about it, would that make you a rapist? No. But it certainly begs questions about your humanity. So pardon me if I’m willing to ask this question.

Are we - as a nation - racist? We may disagree on the answer but I maintain it is a fair question.

I don’t want to stoop to hatred; I’d rather not demonize those who disagree with me, some of whom are relatives and friends. I won’t question Donald Trump’s legitimacy as President and demand to see his birth certificate. I won’t depict him as a Muslim, Nazi witch doctor in caricatures on posters at rallies. I won’t chant “Lock him up!” because of his legal issues.

Hmm… I guess demonizing those who disagree with you is one of those “Do as I say, not as I do” kind of things.

Back in January, I predicted Trump would be elected President based on the notion that a people gets the government they deserve. I thought that we were - as a nation - paranoid, misogynistic, willfully, proudly ignorant and Christian in name only. I desperately hoped I would be wrong.

Of course, I didn’t foresee how Vladimir Putin’s Troll Army would impact the election. It’s puzzling to me how this didn’t cut the other way. Why would we vote in Russia’s best interests? Why wouldn’t we vote for a President that Putin actually feared? Why wasn’t this a bigger story?

Then again, forget the Russians; our own Attorney General was actively working to influence the election.

I didn’t think women were good with having rich and powerful men grab them by the pussy but 42% of white women voted for Trump so I guess he was right and I was wrong on that one. If you’re a member of the 58%, I suggest you buy a cup.

You may be cool with all of that because you think Hillary Clinton is the devil’s handmaiden. Despite the publicly audited credibility and effectiveness of the Clinton Foundation, despite being cleared in 9 separate Benghazi investigations, despite the Attorney General’s grudgingly backhanded exoneration of Hillary Clinton in her use of a private email server, you chose to think of the guy who refused to release his tax returns as trustworthy. You chose to believe the guy who wants more nuclear weapons in the world would be good for world peace. You chose to believe the self-proclaimed pussy-grabber has more respect for women than anyone else.

Hillary Clinton was the most thoroughly vetted, most experienced candidate ever to run for President at the worst possible time in our history to run on a lifetime of public service and competence. (Then again, she’s a woman so maybe it’s always the worst possible time for her to run for President.) Every election is about change but this one was about extinction level event change. The system is rigged. The media is rigged. Washington is a swamp that needs to be drained. Government doesn’t work for the little guy; it works for Wall Street. Trump made Hillary the face of the rigged, corrupt, pay for play system of American democracy and won.

I do agree that if Hillary had been elected, it would’ve been four more years of Obama. By that I mean four more years of a Republican congress saying “No” to a Democratic president. For better or worse, gridlock is over. Mostly. The Senate is not filibuster-proof but Republicans hold the House, the Senate and the White House. They won’t have to worry about a Democratic president vetoing the next vote to repeal Obamacare.

If Republicans have something better than the Affordable Care Act, I’m good with that. What that is, nobody knows. Trump has said there will be great, great plans; plans like we’ve never seen. Okay. Personally, I don’t know how you fix health care without a single payer system but I’m very, very excited to see these great, great plans.

If Republicans have got a secret plan to save the economy, I’m good with that, too. I’m not sure how getting rid of regulations doesn’t lead to more Flint, Michigans. I don’t know how you bring manufacturing jobs back to the US without getting rid of the minimum wage and I’m not sure how a middle class living on poverty wages can fuel a consumer economy without the ability to buy houses, cars and refrigerators but math was never my strong suit.

Forgive me, though, if I’m afraid of what a Trump presidency will mean for a woman’s right to choose, for undocumented people, for Muslims, for gay and transgender people, for anyone whose fate may soon wind up in the hands of a Supreme Court that could seat as many as three new justices during Trump’s first four years in office. That’s right, his first four years. You didn’t see the first four years coming, what makes you think he’ll only get one term in office?

Elections have consequences…

It’s okay for me, of course. I’m an old white guy and I can certainly pass for angry if I need to.

If I were a corporate executive, will I soon be able to grab my secretary by the pussy and claim as my defense that I was merely acting presidential?

If I were a business owner, will I be able refuse to make my business handicap-accessible because I’m sick of those gimps always asking for special treatment? Why don’t they just pull yourself up by the bootstraps like the rest of us? Those who have feet, of course.

If I were a baker, will I soon be free to refuse to make cakes for gay marriages?

We’ve always been able to vandalize black churches or just walk right in with a gun and shoot the parishioners so I guess that won’t be changing.

I’ve never used the phrase “Islamic terrorism” in my typical water cooler conversations at work but I’m going to use it all the time, now. You know, things like “I think Becky from Accounting is a total Islamic terrorist when it comes to getting my time sheet in on time. Someone needs to grab her by the pussy.”

Whatever Paul Ryan wants to do with Social Security is unlikely to affect my post 55-year old ass. I hope. I know Trump’s constituency doesn’t care if the stock market crashes because they don’t have a 401(k). I take some comfort in knowing lawmakers in charge of economic policy do.

Which reminds me of one other thought…

Trump’s election strikes me as a fake revolution. If the point of voting for Trump was to bring change, then why so much of the status quo in House and Senate races? Shouldn’t Trump voters have voted against Paul Ryan and Marco Rubio? Shouldn’t incumbents - who’ve actually been in office, unlike Hillary Clinton - be held accountable for what’s happened to the middle class in America? So was this election really about change or was it something else; was it really about paranoia, misogyny, willful pride in ignorance and an impulse to religious hegemony?

Are we - as a nation - racist?

Do we even need to ask if we’re misogynistic, xenophobic and religiously intolerant?

There’s little I can do to ameliorate my wife’s disappointment and despair. Telling her that we’ll be okay is cold comfort to someone who cares so deeply about other people. I’m glad for my daughter that she’s staying with her Canadian boyfriend right now. I’m torn between wanting to see her for Christmas and wondering if it would be better if she just never came home again.

That’s a hard thing to think.

I believe nothing is ever as good or as bad as it first seems. I believe the republic will survive but it’s going to be a bumpy ride. Winning the Electoral College while losing the popular vote should not be seen as a mandate but I fear that won’t matter. The Republicans have got the keys to the car and a full tank of gas and little concern for posted speed limits.

I am curious about one thing.

When does Mexico cut the first check?