Ten Years

"Ten years, man! Ten years!

-      Paul Spericki, "Grosse Pointe Blank"

At 38 years of age, Tom Brady is having one of the best years of his storied career. Recently, he said he'd like to play for 10 more years. Previously, Brady has vowed to play until he sucks. Apparently, Brady doesn't see himself sucking until he's 49.

 

Clearly, Brady's statement was aspirational. No one expects a press conference will be scheduled by the Patriots for next Monday to announce a 10-year contract extension for Tom Terrific. It does seem utterly impossible on the face of it and yet I've been bemused if not surprised by the universally dismissive reaction amongst the gridiron cognoscenti. Yes, football is an arbitrary and cruel sport – Brady has already suffered a season-ending ACL injury – but this is Tom Brady you're talking about. He still wears 199 like a mystic rune that sparked the unquenchable, competitive fire that burns with the energy of a thousand suns in his pigskin soul.

The man loves a challenge and if the world won't give him one, he'll set the bar himself.

He is having one of the three best seasons of his career. He has somehow added athleticism since his knee injury. His work ethic is legendary. His strengths – his intelligence and his preternaturally quick release – are less susceptible to the ravages of time than arm strength. With a solid offensive line and a stud running back, is it so hard to picture Brady under center well into his 40s?

Okay, maybe he was just kidding.

This was a Q&A with New York media after all so he was just tapping into the worst nightmare of Jets' fans, a football-themed "Ground Hog's Day" where they wake every Sunday morning knowing Tom Brady will be lacing them up for the Patriots. Ten more years of not winning the AFC East. Ten more years of not sniffing a Super Bowl. Ten more years of Tom Brady's perfectly pearly white smirk. Who's your daddy?

Brady has given the Patriots the home town discount throughout his career but he's still made a boatload of Benjamins and he's married to the richest super model on the planet so he's not hurting for money. Why risk serious injury at age 46, say, when you could be hanging at the beach with your wife and kids and a cooler full of avocado ice cream novelties? A beach on an island you own, by the way.

What if the Patriots win Super Bowl 50 and Brady takes home his 5th ring? Like Alexander the Great, there would be no worlds left to conquer. The GOAT debate would be over. There would be no postseason records left to break, except for his own.

Except for three in a row. Winning back-to-back Super Bowls is hard; three in a row – so far, anyway – has proven to be impossible.

I just can't see Tom Brady leaving that opportunity on the table.

Okay, that doesn't really speak to the ten more years question except indirectly because if the Brady Bunch win three in a row, Tom will want four. Yes, of course, I get that winning ten super bowls in a row would be ridiculous, even for Tom Brady.

It is ridiculous and yet… You thought about it, didn't you? Just for a second you considered it.

I know I did.

Mock the avocado ice cream at your own risk.