Risky Biscuits

Imagine for a moment you're Bill Belichick. Steady. It's easy to be overwhelmed by the sudden rush of power. You may feel a little lightheaded for a moment or two. Okay? It's Day 1 of the NFL Draft and you're on the clock with the 32nd pick. Dorial Green-Beckham is still available…

The star-crossed wide receiver from Missouri by way of Oklahoma may be the next Calvin Johnson. He also may be the next Josh Gordon. DGB (as he's known to all the cool kids like me) aced his job interviews at the Combine but then, so did Johnny Manziel (currently in rehab – and we wish him well). The way I look at it, all wide receivers are a little bit of a wild cards. Something about the personality type attracted to the position. Football is the greatest team sport but wide receivers and cornerbacks are often engaged in a one-on-one contest. They stand apart, alone where there is little ambiguity in the outcomes and failure smirks ever alert from its perch on your shoulder.

But I digress.

My point is this.

I remember all the red flags sticking out of Dez Bryant's shoulder pads when he came out of college. Wide receivers. It's who they are. DGB is as big a roll of the dice as any wide receiver who's ever been drafted.

And where was I?

Oh right. You're Bill Belichick. You could give Tom Brady a transformative offensive weapon, the ultimate compliment to Jules and Gronk. And you've still got JoJo and Amendola, Tim Wright and maybe Aaron Dobson. Yes, please!

Does DGB have the football IQ to produce in the infamously complex Patriots offense? What does he have to do but run far and jump high?

In all likelihood, Dorial Green-Beckham will be long gone (I'm looking at you, Oakland Raiders) by the time Bill Belichick is trading the #32 pick for another 2nd round pick in this year's draft and a 1st in 2016. If New England does stick and pick it's probably better to take the best available offensive lineman.

Still. A young Calvin Johnson?

It's fun to dream.

I know, I know. Bill Belichick has struggled with drafting wide receivers. So maybe it's better to pass on DGB? Belichick does have a much better record when it comes to free agency and trades for wide receivers (LaFell has been a good pick up; Randy Moss and Wes Welker were absolute steals). So, if Percy Harvin is cut by the Jets, should the Patriots pay what it takes to add a 26-year old with game-changing, score-from-anywhere-on-the-field talent to their offense?

I say yes.

Harvin can play outside, in the slot, in the backfield and return kickoffs (Amendola has been solid but Harvin would definitely be an upgrade). Harvin could easily lead the league in YAC in Josh McDaniels' offense with Tom Brady pulling the trigger.

Granted, this is a position group that just won a Super Bowl and there are higher priorities, like offensive guard and defensive tackle. Still, Harvin's ability to work out of the backfield (replacing some of Vereen's production on 3rd down) and return kicks provides additional value.

And it's fun to dream, of course.

Beating the Jets with a player they let go is undeniably delightful to consider.

Unfortunately, New England won't be the only team likely to offer Harvin at least a 1-year "prove it" contract. San Diego is far more temperate than Green Bay. After this winter I have to admit, San Diego does sound like the easy choice.

Adrian Peterson and the Minnesota Vikings appear to be headed for an ugly divorce. It seems like he's already it's come home to Texas (where hitting your kid with a stick is still okay 'cause the Bible tells me so); it seems like he already had the press conference and pulled on the cap with a big block D and held up the Dallas Cowboys' jersey while Jerry Jones looked on with those crazy spinning eyes and that rictus grin.

Hold your nose with me and consider this…

After SB38 New England signed Corey Dillon, a running back with more baggage than Peter Whitman. Dillon went on to secure an signature nickname (Clock Killin' Corey Dillon) as he set a Patriots single season rushing record and New England hoisted the Lombardi Trophy in SB39; the last time a team won back-to-back Super Bowls.

Still holding your nose?

Yeah, I'm going there.

If it was even possible from a salary cap point of view, would you trade some combination of (let's say) LeGarrette Blount or Jonas Gray, Danny Amendola, Vince Wilfork and a draft pick (let's say a 1st round pick next year) for Adrian Peterson?

Yes, okay, I get it. But everyone hates the Patriots already. The haters already think there's literally nothing (*cough* Belichick's deal with the Devil *cough*) New England won't do to win. They will take pictures! They will let air out of a football in varying amounts! They will align eligible and ineligible receivers according to the rule book! They will… okay, I'm out.

The point is, there's nothing that can be said or done to change the haters minds. All good citizens of Patriots Nation know this. From an admittedly amoral point of view, this is really like a blank check. Bill Belichick could start Adolf Hitler at left tackle and wear a KKK hood to his post-game press conference and he couldn't be more loathed, despised and hated than he already is today.

I'd be conflicted, I'm sure, the first time Peterson broke one off tackle for 40 yards. By mid-season, with the Patriots 8-0-0 and Peterson leading the league in rushing yards and TDs, I'd be telling myself the man has more than enough money to pay for his children's anti-anxiety pharmaceuticals and lifelong psychiatric care.

Too soon?

Okay. Robert Kraft is not going to sign off on this.

Bill Belichick is not going to want to put up with the Michael Vick-level image rehabilitation campaign that will necessarily be required of Peterson.

Still.

Dreaming is fun.

Even when you're holding your nose.