Someone Has To Finish Last

When Michael Vick signed with the Jets, he knew he would be competing with the lowest ranked quarterback in the NFL in 2013. How hard would it be to beat that guy for the starting gig? I think we all know how that’s been going. As a Patriots’ fan, I’m counting on a QB controversy in New York this fall, with every offensive snap placed under a microscope by the local pigskin pundits and bobbleheads (hardly known for their patience and compassion), followed by the inevitable locker room split as players swear allegiance to Geno Smith or Michael Vick. So, the recent “power ranking” of NFL quarterbacks by Mike Sando [insider content] was like catnip for me. The worst starting quarterback in the NFL? Eugene Cyril Smith III.

 

Okay, let’s stipulate to the fact that these lists are completely arbitrary. They will have no effect on the outcome of games played this season. They’re sole purpose is to drive page hits. Tom Brady ranked #1. Yeah, sure, I’m cool with that but mostly I just don’t care. If Brady were ranked outside the Top 5 I’m sure I would pause for a moment before shrugging my mental shoulders and moving on to the latest TMZ video of Rob Gronkowski. After all, even the slightest of slights is just another log on the competitive fire that burns like Mount Doom in Tom Brady’s heart. Look! It’s Gronk dancing with Robert Kraft!

Dom Cosentino of NJ.com cares.

He starts by agreeing that these lists aren’t worth the pixels displayed on your screen, noting they’re “designed specifically to get fans of every team to pass around and go, ‘OMG!’”

So, nothing to see here?

Let’s all move along?

Nope.

“Geno Smith of Your New York Jets came in dead last. Your iPhone made a similar assessment last season, albeit before Smith's strong finish. But now? In a league in which Ryan Fitzpatrick and Brian Hoyer are veteran starters?”

Okay. Ryan Fitzpatrick and Brian Hoyer are the short list of QB’s Dom Cosentino would not trade straight up for Geno Smith. Fitzpatrick vs. Hoyer vs. Smith sounds like the all-time worst pro wrestling cage match. The ultimate hobo fight.

If I was faced with choosing between Fitzpatrick, Hoyer or Smith to win just one game to save my life, I’d first take a moment to consider if I was wrong about God’s existence and try to square that with the notion a supreme being could be behind such a cruel and petty joke and then I’d start my 6^th round draft pick from Michigan.

Yeah, nobody’s asking me to take over football operations for their franchise.

If you’re talking upside, I would have to take Smith over Fitzpatrick and Hoyer. Cosentino points out that Smith got thrown into the fire last year; he didn’t get a year with a clipboard. He didn’t have any weapons. His struggles as a rookie were to be expected. Okay.

“Yet one of these insiders said Smith was ‘close to’ being as crappy as Akili Smith or JaMarcus Russell? Nope. Nothing coded about that comparison.” 

Okay, I have to agree with Cosentino; comparing a starting quarterback – no matter how “crappy” – to JaMarcus Russell is way over the line. The Ryan Fitzpatrick/Brian Hoyer comps seem quite reasonable by comparison. Akili Smith maybe (that could definitely happen), but JaMarcus Russell? That hurts.

But this was my favorite line from the piece…

“Look, no one in their right mind right now would put Smith in the league's Top 25, and maybe not even in the Top 30. But the worst? Really?”

So, Cosentino is arguing that while Smith’s ceiling is probably #31, he couldn’t possibly be ranked #32 and dead last.

Is that sillier than arguing that Tom Brady should be ranked no lower than #3?

Probably not.

After all, if your QB is considered Top 5, even Top 10, you’re feeling pretty good about your team’s chances to make the playoffs. New Orleans isn’t trading Drew Brees for Aaron Rodgers, Peyton Manning or Tom Brady. Not that Tom Brady couldn’t win in the Big Easy but why bother?  

On the other hand, if your QB is considered Bottom 5 then arguing your QB is #28 vs. #29 or #31 vs #32 misses the unarguable point that your team needs a new, better quarterback.

Maybe Cosentino intent was parody. These arguments about the Top 100 or the best quarterback or which coaches are on the hot seat are silly, predictable, ridiculous, intentionally perverse, cynical groupthink found knowledge filler we use to distract ourselves between OTAs and training camp.

What could be sillier than arguing that Geno Smith is not the worst QB in the NFL?

Someone has to finish last…