I almost feel sorry for the Jets and their
fans. Almost.
The latest episode of How I Met Your
Quarterback was so funny it hurt. Literally.
First, the new boss’s kid stunk up the joint; GM Mark Idzik’s hand-picked QB of
the Future Geno Smith was brutal,
with three picks and an Orlovsky
(running out of the end zone for a self-inflicted safety). He was clearly not
ready for his close up. Then, instead of a plucky performance that reminds
everyone there’s more to playing QB in New York than running into a lineman’s butt,
embattled incumbent Mark Sanchez, playing behind the guys who can’t beat out
the mostly mediocre starters on the Jets offensive line, winds up getting
sacked, with his throwing shoulder deconstructed by a guy nobody
heard of before.
Head Coach Rex Ryan’s explanation for all
of this?
Bad luck.
You see, nobody would be questioning his
judgment if Sanchez hadn’t gotten hurt.
That’s football.
Indeed, football
players get hurt playing football. It is what it is, as they say. It’s…
unfortunate.
I noted that Ryan
referred to the fact that the play where Sanchez was hurt was probably his best
of the preseason. That, Ryan said, was unfortunate.
I thought, well, at least he didn’t misuse ironic in that
context. I also thought that unfortunate word seems to come up a lot in
references to the Jets.
So, I Googled “Unfortunate
+ Jets,” returning about 29,000,000 results.
Atop the list? A
blogspot site for The
Unfortunate Jets Fan (I clearly don’t use enough graphics). This was
followed by links to posts on draft bust Aaron Maybin, the departure of
Darrelle Revis, Sanchez’s injury, this item
involving Kentucky (if it isn’t Florida, it’s usually Kentucky) that would’ve
been funny (perhaps) if it was a quote from a
Woody Allen movie, more and more posts referencing Sanchez’s injury, an on-line
quiz detailing the Jets’ checkered history in the draft (notably passing on
Dan Marino and Warren Sapp), various other unfortunate injuries (including
second-year DE/OLB Quinton
Coples, a player I once thought would’ve looked good in a Patriots uniform)
and even more references to Mark Sanchez and his unfortunate shoulder injury. I
was four pages in (still no Rich Kotite sightings!) when I started feeling like
I was slowing down to take a better look at a car crash and had to stop.
Wow. Just wow.
I mean, I know I’m
fortunate to live in New England and root for the Patriots but… wow.
I know that if I
lived in New Yorsey I’d root for the Giants and this stuff would still be
hilarious but still… wow.
If I was a conspiracy
theorist – and I would expect there to be some mention of this in the next few
days – I would note that despite the opposite of awesome performance by Geno
Smith, Sanchez’s injury practically ensures Smith will be the J-E-T-S opening
day starter. Coincidence? If you’re the kind of person who believes in these
kind of things, you can probably hear Idzik calling down to Ryan on the
sideline, telling him to send Sanchez in, to play behind an offensive line
incapable of protecting him because the only way they could justify starting
Smith would be if Sanchez was hurt.
It’s tinfoil hat
talk but these are the Jets after all. If you think things can’t get any
crazier with the Jets, they will always prove you wrong.
The situation isn’t
much better in Buffalo where QB of the Future EJ Manuel is recovering from a
minor “knee
procedure” leaving the QB position to the oft-injured Kevin Kolb. As if on cue,
Kolb promptly suffered a concussion in Saturday’s preseason tilt with
Washington. What were the odds? So, the Bills are down to UDFA rookie Jeff Tuel
and wildcat QB Brad Smith. Plan B? Uh, I mean Plan C? The Bills will audition
the justifiably much traveled Matt Leinart and John Beck for a roster spot.
Apologies for
stating the obvious, but there’s a reason Matt Leinart and John Beck are
available.
The Dolphins have
lost their starting TE (Dustin Keller), QB Ryan Tannehill’s blind side has been
left to the underwhelming
Johnathan Martin, none of their running backs look ready to take any
pressure off Tannehill and still they look like a model franchise compared to
the Jets or Bills. Pigskin pundits and bobbleheads had been cooling
to the early buzz generated by Miami’s spending spree during free agency
but the Patriots’ stinker in Motown seems to have added
to Miami’s chances by subtracting from New England’s.
Not that my
confidence in the Patriots hasn’t been checked by reality but I would observe
that counting on the other guy to lose isn’t really the best or most reliable strategy
for winning. As for enjoying
the misery of others, well, that’s just fun.
Will the Patriots come
back to the pack in 2013? It sure looked that way last Thursday night. I know
that I’d be more than happy with a repeat of last year’s 12-4-0 finish as I sip
my morning coffee this late summer Sunday but ultimately there’s really nothing
discoverable in a preseason game, even Week 3’ so-called dress rehearsal. We
probably won’t really know what the Patriots will be as a football team until
the fifth or sixth week of the regular season.
It will be hard waiting for that moment,
but I still think it will be well worth it for Patriots Nation.
No comments:
Post a Comment