Quarters

If you're a Patriots fan, this was the best Monday of the season. This Monday was so good I carried it all the way into Tuesday. Big win to cleanse the pigskin palate following two tough, underseasoned losses. Edelman back from his 4-game suspension. Yeah, it's a short week but the Pats hold the advantage of hosting the Thursday night game. The Colts, on the other hand, are a team had to play into overtime on Sunday (extra wear and tear) and less time to prep (travel). Plus, we hates the Colts, for their role as Tartuffe in the Deflategate farce.

The 38-7 deconstruction of Miami also gave me a chance to step back and really read the room. More than a few of my fellow citizens in Patriots Nation totally lost their shit over the previous two weeks, standing outside at night in their pajamas, staring up at the stars waiting - hoping - for the gridiron rapture to take them away before they have to witness the end of the Patriots Dynasty. It's easy to forget how good we have it here, east of the Connecticut River. So, let's check ourselves now at the quarter pole.

Remember, everyone is still mathematically in contention but let's also remember that math is hard.

Pigskin Whataboutism

You know who else is 2-2-0? That's right! The Philadelphia Eagles! But it's okay because they're having fun! Well, that's what I heard. I'm actually not sure what "fun" is because I live and work in New England, I root for the Patriots, and Bill Belichick is my Dumbledore. I can only have fun when my pigskin heroes crush their enemies and even then my joy is short lived. We're onto Indianapolis.

The Future Comes At You Hard

The Buffalo Bills, New York Jets, Cleveland Browns, and Arizona Cardinals have decided to rock the rookie QB look and sport an aggregate record of 3-12-1. This is what we have to look forward to, fellow Pats fans, in 2023 following Brady's retirement.

Change one letter and hope is just hype...

The Oakland Raiders probably weren't going anywhere before the Khalil Mack. After all, Jon Gruden's reputation as a head coach is based on winning a Super Bowl using Tony Dungy's defense to beat a Raiders offense that he designed. That was 15 years ago. You know, when Sean McVay was still in diapers.

Ticking the boxes on my Enemies List…

The Pittsburgh Steelers are a 5-year old Kia Sorento that was driven off the roof of a 4-story parking garage and crashed into a dumpster that was already on fire even before the fuel tank of the SUV ruptured and exploded into 20-foot flames following it's inevitable loss in its vain battle with gravity. And the Ravens, too.

The Colts (see above) snatched a defeat from the jaws of a tie. First year Frank Reich is taking a lot of heat for going for it on 4th and 4 with less than a minute to play in OT when a punt would most likely assured a tie but have you seen these guys try to punt the football?

I need to work on my enemies list. Two teams? I suppose I could include the Giants but really I just feel sorry for them. (Full disclosure: I was a childhood fan of the Giants. I'm old and I moved around a lot as a kid.) The Jets? They kind of take care of themselves, really. I need one more to make 5, a magical number because of our fingers and toes, I guess. Anyway, I'll go with the Broncos. They've still got some Peyton Manning stink on them. That counts for something.

Anyway, screw all those guys.

Especially the Colts.

Forgiveness is for God.