Sunday, August 16, 2015

The Real Tom Shady

You want my name.
You want my game.
You want my fame.
You want me to take the blame for mistakes that you made.


Saturday, August 15, 2015

We Still Don't Know Anything

So the first preseason game has come and gone and what do we know that we didn't know already? That Tom Brady is insanely competitive? That Josh Boyce looks like Exhibit 27 in the case against Bill Belichick's ability to draft wide receivers? That preseason games aren't worth missing episode 2 of "Project Runway?" Okay. That last one is probably just me.

Sunday, August 9, 2015

Camping

I've come to the realization that I either need to learn to like cantaloupe or I have to stop ordering the fruit cup. I generally like the other pieces of fruit, the grapes, strawberries, watermelon and pineapple but it seems like fully half of it is cantaloupe.

Life. You have to learn to like the cantaloupe.

Saturday, August 8, 2015

A Laughing Matter

Sorry I've been gone for a while. I just needed a break, I guess. That's it. It wasn't another bout of writer's block. It wasn't remitting, relapsing ennui, brought on by the end of Jon Stewart's run with the Daily Show, the realization that black lives don't matter or we wouldn't need #blacklivesmatter, that mass shootings are the new normal, that fewer people believe in science than believe in fairies, that there are bad cops and the fact there are many good cops does not negate that, that we have leaders who would rather drop a dozen nukes on Tehran than give peace a chance and since this is a republic that fact is undeniably our fault, that facts and truth don't matter when p'ositions of power are up for grabs or the fact I feel like Donald Trump has moved in with me and he just won't shut up.

I just needed a break.

Did you miss me? Anyone? Hello?

Is this thing on?