We Still Don't Know Anything

So the first preseason game has come and gone and what do we know that we didn't know already? That Tom Brady is insanely competitive? That Josh Boyce looks like Exhibit 27 in the case against Bill Belichick's ability to draft wide receivers? That preseason games aren't worth missing episode 2 of "Project Runway?" Okay. That last one is probably just me.

Camping

I've come to the realization that I either need to learn to like cantaloupe or I have to stop ordering the fruit cup. I generally like the other pieces of fruit, the grapes, strawberries, watermelon and pineapple but it seems like fully half of it is cantaloupe.

Life. You have to learn to like the cantaloupe.

A Laughing Matter

Sorry I've been gone for a while. I just needed a break, I guess. That's it. It wasn't another bout of writer's block. It wasn't remitting, relapsing ennui, brought on by the end of Jon Stewart's run with the Daily Show, the realization that black lives don't matter or we wouldn't need #blacklivesmatter, that mass shootings are the new normal, that fewer people believe in science than believe in fairies, that there are bad cops and the fact there are many good cops does not negate that, that we have leaders who would rather drop a dozen nukes on Tehran than give peace a chance and since this is a republic that fact is undeniably our fault, that facts and truth don't matter when p'ositions of power are up for grabs or the fact I feel like Donald Trump has moved in with me and he just won't shut up.

I just needed a break.

Did you miss me? Anyone? Hello?

Is this thing on?

Take a Lap, Boys

Belichick being Belichick.

Wait-What?

Wasn't this about air pressure in footballs?

It Was Bisciotti All Along

Earlier this week, I saw a story that reminded me of one of my deeply held beliefs. It goes like this: Everybody thinks that everybody else thinks like them. If you're honest and forgiving, you think everybody else is honest and forgiving. If you're a liar and a cheat, you think everybody else is a liar and a cheat. If you believe everything, including you good name and reputation is transactional, you think everybody else believes that, too. Maybe that's why the NFL thinks they can "wear down" Tom Brady.

Roger Goodell (FTG) and the rest of the weasels, the swine, the closeted fascists and the greedy little hustlers in the NFL's league office may well have a price point on their mothers' lives but they are at least familiar with Thomas Edward Patrick Brady, Jr., aren't they?

The 6th round draft pick who twice became MVP of the league and the winningest QB in NFL history? Six Super Bowl appearances, four Lombardi trophies and three Super Bowl MVP awards, author of the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history? Tied for #3 on the all-time 4th Quarter Comeback list? This is the guy they're going to "wear down?"

Why am I reminded of that moment in "Ghostbusters" when Peter Venkman turns to Ray Stanz and says, "Get her! That was your whole plan, huh?"

I Hate Reasonable People

You know who you are. You see both sides of every question. You love to play Devil's advocate. You're the worst kind of politically correct. I'm looking at you, Kevin Flanagan.