What can I say at this point? Am I supposed to believe the NFL will collect game ball air pressure readings over the course of the 2015 season, compare it to the readings from the AFC Championship game and acknowledge they got it wrong?
Hey, Tom, yeah, it's me, Roger. Goodell. Goodell. Right. Yeah. About that four-game suspension. Uh huh. Yes, and your reputation. Yes, that, too. The tainted Super Bowls. And all the jokes. The lost endorsement revenue. Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Look, I - Uh huh. Right, so, I was just calling to say - oh, you know. About the PSI readings. What's that? You always knew? How did you - oh, right. Of course. Yeah. So, listen, my bad, okay? We good, bro? Tom! I don't know if that kind of language is called for. Oh. Right. Reputation. Tainted Super Bowls. All the jokes. Yeah, no, I haven't heard one that was actually funny. Endorsement revenue. Well, look, it was great catching up with you. What was that? Oh, yeah. I get that a lot.
The Germans have a word - backpfeifengesicht - that means "a face that needs punching." Do they have word for "a nut sack that needs kicking?"
balsachetrittversict, n, 1. a nut sack that needs kicking, 2. Roger Goodell
It is, as they say, what it is.
For now, Tom Brady must play the role of Spider-Man opposite Roger Goodell as J. Jonah Jameson. And just like Spider-Man, maybe someday they'll make five or six movies about Tom Brady and one of them will actually be pretty good.
We're on to federal court.
That was always going to happen.
And you know what?
This still happened...
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