It Was Bisciotti All Along

Earlier this week, I saw a story that reminded me of one of my deeply held beliefs. It goes like this: Everybody thinks that everybody else thinks like them. If you're honest and forgiving, you think everybody else is honest and forgiving. If you're a liar and a cheat, you think everybody else is a liar and a cheat. If you believe everything, including you good name and reputation is transactional, you think everybody else believes that, too. Maybe that's why the NFL thinks they can "wear down" Tom Brady.

Roger Goodell (FTG) and the rest of the weasels, the swine, the closeted fascists and the greedy little hustlers in the NFL's league office may well have a price point on their mothers' lives but they are at least familiar with Thomas Edward Patrick Brady, Jr., aren't they?

The 6th round draft pick who twice became MVP of the league and the winningest QB in NFL history? Six Super Bowl appearances, four Lombardi trophies and three Super Bowl MVP awards, author of the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history? Tied for #3 on the all-time 4th Quarter Comeback list? This is the guy they're going to "wear down?"

Why am I reminded of that moment in "Ghostbusters" when Peter Venkman turns to Ray Stanz and says, "Get her! That was your whole plan, huh?"

I suppose one way to describe the story that the owners of the Colt and Ravens, Jim Irsay and Steve Bisciotti, are pressing Goodell to maintain the four-game suspension of Brady would be unseemly. It has a vaguely Shakespearean sound to it. Subtext is everything, of course. I'm reminded again of the ashen look on Robert Kraft's face at the owners meeting when he said he would stand down and accept the judgment of the league. I'm even more sure now than I was then the other 31 owners threatened to strip Kraft's ownership of his beloved New England Patriots. (No, I don't have any proof of that but it's my deeply held belief it's more likely than not it happened – that is the new burden of proof, right?) Anyway, whatever, I guess. This was never about the I-word or getting it right and everyone might as well be naked in their petty, childish vindictiveness. This was always about getting the Patriots – anyway, anyhow – and it's good nobody even cares to pretend now it was anything else.

Irsay and Bisciotti claim the Patriots have "gotten away with murder" for years and deserve "public punishment." I can only say I'm confused by this. Our murderer actually went to jail, something you can't say for Bisciotti's.

Yes, I get that "murder" in this context is a metaphor. I'm not sure what it is the Patriots actually did, though. I see these stories that New England has been doing all sorts of bad things but the only thing that's ever actually mentioned is Spygate. What's all this murder the Patriots have been getting away with? Where are the bodies?

Anyone?

I can't figure out what Robert Kraft ever did to these guys other than end the strike and negotiate lucrative TV deals that let them all fill their indoor pools with cash so they can swim laps in dollar bills. Is it the shirts with the white collar and cuffs? Does he tell that same Mark Wahlberg story over and over again? Maybe he fucked all of their wives and mistresses and sent them videos?

Okay. That last one probably wasn't it. TMZ would have that shit by now.

Why am I picturing that scene at the end of "The Godfather" with Irsay in bed with a prostitute and a bowl of pills on the nightstand, riddled with bullets from a hit man's tommy gun and Bisciotti as Moe Green, looking up from his massage to take a bullet in the eyeball?

Yeah. Wishful thinking on my part. Maybe it was all that talk of murder.

Still, it's hard not to imagine Robert Kraft turning to his son Jonathan and saying, "Irsay is a pimp… But I didn't know until this day that it was Bisciotti all along."

The worm always turns. The NFL store can't keep Brady merch on the shelves while Roger Goodell (FTG) is being fitted for a clown suit. Goodell has less credibility than Donald Trump's hair and the Irsay/Bisciotti story will make it hard impossible for Goodell to make the claim in federal court that he was an independent arbiter in the Brady appeal if he upholds the suspension.

Maybe the Irsay/Bisciotti story was leaked to set up Goodell to look like a truly independent leader who cares only about getting this thing right. Goodell could now eliminate the four-game suspension (but fine Brady for refusing to give up his phone as happened with Brett Favre) and look like he was actually his own man, a strong, independent leader.

Nah.

They're just not smart enough for that.