They’ll
be rewriting the NFL’s post-season record book in Super Bowl XLIX.
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Sunday, February 1, 2015
Saturday, January 31, 2015
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Sunday, January 25, 2015
How Can You Disappoint Me When I Don't Expect Anything Better
Bill
Belichick’s impromptu press conference did little to move the needle amongst
the gridiron cognoscenti but as a Patriots’ fan, it was good to see that
Belichick wasn’t going to bite the pillow and take the screwing.
It’s
clear the day after “the Patriots are Cheaters” narrative will not suffer a
reversal due to facts or science. But I knew that.
You,
too?
It’s
clear the people who write for the internet are not reporters but professional
snarks. But I knew that.
You,
too?
It’s
become increasingly clear that this is playing out exactly how the NFL wants it
to.
You
were thinking that, too?
Where
can you turn today without finding the NFL? The story is on CNN, it’s on MSNBC,
it’s the opening sketch on Saturday Night Live. There was a short segment on “Face
the Nation” between stories about the collapse of Yemen, the growing threats to
the Ukraine and the 2016 presidential election. You don’t think an enterprise
as big and economically vibrant as the NFL needs free advertising? Any business
that isn’t growing is going out of business. Moms aren’t letting their sons
play football because of head trauma risks. The NFL, like any business, needs
to grow profitably. It is a televised sport and needs ratings that will drive
ad revenue. These are non-traditional channels for NFL news reaching non-traditional
fans. Yes, of course, CNN, MSNBC, et al. was going to mention the Super Bowl.
But to this extent? This now looks like it could be the most viewed Super Bowl
ever and that ain’t nothing.
Back
to Belichick.
Just
about everything I’ve read from the national pigskin pundits and bobbleheads
has mocked “Bill B. the Science Guy” while ignoring the content and the
implications of his Saturday press conference.
The Content
Rubbing
up the football adds 0.5 PSI. If a football is at 12.5 PSI after being rubbed
up and that football is checked an hour later it would read 12.0 PSI. This
process involves the excitation of air molecules, the existence of which is
challenged by those who believe the earth is a flat disk carried on the back of
a gigantic turtle. Take that same football outside with a drop in temperature
those of us in New England often refer to as “wicked” and check that same football
and it will lose 1.5 pounds of pressure to 10.5 PSI (because the air molecules
huddle together for warmth). This process also involves air pressure and equilibrium
and most Americans are probably wondering how a mood balancer for depression
has anything to do with a football.
Belichick
described his confidence in what the Patriots did as 100% and invited anyone (I
think he was looking at you, Roger Goodell) to run the same process and perform
the same tests if they doubted his numbers.
Then
he dropped the mic. “I’m out!”
The Implications
If
this was a trial – and it certainly has felt that way – then Bill Belichick
just provided reasonable doubt.
That
his press conference was not well received is understandable. Any competent
investigative journalist could’ve done what Bill Belichick and the Patriots
did. The League’s investigation could’ve walked through their own protocols for
preparing game balls just like Bill Belichick and the Patriots did.
It’s
embarrassing, isn’t it?
It’s
easier to call Belichick’s presser “confusing”
or “surreal”
than to admit Belichick’s case is compelling. The big takeaway from the pigskin
pundits and bobbleheads? Belichick is a “My
Cousin Vinny” (or perhaps a Marisa
Tomei) fan.
I
would guess the NFL is pissed at Belichick for calling them out Saturday but
then, it wasn’t like Belichick had any friends in the league office to begin
with. They should be happy – perhaps relieved is a better word – that they
actually have a way out of this mess. After
a thorough investigation, no evidence of wrong-doing on the part of the
Patriots has been found. Case closed. The League can revise the process for
preparing game balls and they probably should if they believe that variations in
football PSI impact the outcome of the games played.
For
those of us who claim citizenship in Patriots Nation, Belichick’s presser was a
game-changer. Bill reminded us once again that this is a pretty good football
team that worked hard for everything they’ve accomplished and did so while
following the rules of the game they play and love. Belichick reminded us all not
to let anyone take this run for a 4th Super Bowl away from us. Tom
Brady is not a cheat and a liar.
Nobody in the Patriots organization has done anything wrong. Spygate was 7
freaking years ago. These New England Patriots won the AFC East, the #1 seed in
the AFC, two playoff games against great teams including the AFC Championship and
did it all fair and square. Maybe it is us against the world and I can’t speak
for anyone but myself but I am as proud to be a Patriots fan today as I ever
have been.
On
the other hand, it seems unlikely this will change the minds of many
journalists, snarks, the hard core or casual fans across the NFL.
As
a culture, we seem to prefer beliefs to facts; there’s strong anti-intellectual
thread in the fabric of our national psyche.
Remember
that Belichick being smarter than John Harbaugh is considered cheating by the “no
fair dodging” crowd. Belichick and offensive coordinator Josh McDaniels came up
with an unusual but completely legal formation and used it effectively. Instead
of celebrating the intellect and creativity behind this innovative tactic, the
Patriots were vilified as cheats. The League
needs to do something about the Patriots playing by the rules!
Quick aside because I can’t resist: Not only
does Tony Dungy encourage cheating to stop the Patriots nefarious use of the
rule book, I believe it was Dungy’s Colts – prior to the rules that gave
defenses an opportunity to substitute in response to offensive substitutions –
that used to rush to the line of scrimmage and quickly snap the football to
catch a 12th or 13th defensive player before they could
run off the field. That was totally fair. Peyton Manning was just a brilliant
in-game “aw shucks” tactician using the rules to his team’s best advantage.
Why is this homophobic
dick still the moral arbiter of the NFL? Anyone?
Those
people who believe the Patriots cheated, that believe Tom Brady lied are
unlikely to change their minds, much like those Christians
who believe the world is 6,000 years old are not shaken by overwhelming
scientific evidence to the contrary. Belief is important to Americans. Science
is not.
This
isn’t over and it won’t be over when the NFL makes its report, either. The people
who believe the Patriots are cheaters will not change their minds. But it doesn’t
matter.
Say
it with me now, Patriots Nation.
We’re
onto Seattle.
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Thursday, January 22, 2015
You're Scaring Me Now
As
a fan I just have to say… Enough. Uncle. I’ll sign whatever you want me to
sign. Troop positions. Call signs. Because honestly. You’re scaring me now. So,
I’m closing my eyes. I’ve got a wooden spoon clenched between my teeth. I’d ask
you to be gentle but I realize that’s not the point. So, just do it. Please.
Let’s get this over with.
Thank you.
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