So, so glad I'm not a Cincinnati Bengals fan today.
The Bengals certainly did enough stupid things to lose all on their own to the Chiefs in KC, but if I lived in the Queen City, I'd be hard pressed not to feel like my team got screwed by the Zebras in this one. Let's just say the 3rd and 9 "do over" that kept that Chiefs drive alive was not a good look for the league.
I suppose the 49ers deserve a shout out for even getting to the NFC Championship game in the first place but… Did somebody in the SF front office do something terribly horribly disgustingly wrong in a past life? Seemed like a whole lot of piling on by karma in this one for the 49ers. Their loss also ended my favorite fantasy for the Heinz 57 Varieties Super Bowl: Jimmy Garoppolo activated from IR and coming off the bench in the second half to win the big game! Ah! Jimmy G! What could have been!
Brock Purdy having to play like Lord Nelson after Trafalgar notwithstanding, the Eagles defense looks legit scary. Like, a little drop of pee came out scary. Like the trailer for the latest M. Night Shyamalan movie scary. That's important because (checks notes) apparently, defense wins championships.
If you're like me, you're already preparing yourself for endless stories about Andy Reid in the run up to the big game.
Did you know he coached the Eagles back in the day?
It's true!
Did you know they fired him after he consistently lost the big game?
It's true! (Which means he could lose another big game involving the Eagles in just two weeks!)
Did you know that when he was a kid, Andy Reid competed in the Punt, Pass, and Kick competition?
It's true!
Did you know his mustache was elected to the Mustache Hall of Fame?
Okay, I made that one up. You thought it was true, just for a second, though, didn't you? But maybe he is. I mean, thought I was making a joke but it turns out there is an International Mustache Hall of Fame. Because of course there is. Sort of. If the domain name is still available, does it really (digitally) exist?
Will SB LVII be a good game?
The Chiefs offense versus the Eagles defense is a great matchup for even casual fans of the game. Can the Eagles do what the Buccaneers were able to do to Mahomes and Reid three years ago? Will Mahomes put on a show and put a second ring on it? I think answering that question is why they play the game but Herm Edwards isn't returning my calls so we'll have to see on that.
I think this game is won or lost depending on whether or not the KC defense can slow down the Philly offense. The Eagles ability to run the ball, run the clock, and keep Patrick Mahomes' sorcery on the sidelines is the potential difference maker. Oh no! I just imagined Jalen Hurts throwing a pick-6 in the 4th quarter to lose the game! Even worse, we ran out of guacamole in the 3rd! How did that happen?
Well, it may or may not be a great game, but whatever the case, it will be a pigskin party.
Note to self: Buy a dozen avocados.
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