Pigskin Dramaturgy

When there's no more football to be played, we still need to have a story to tell. 

Even if it's the same old story. As the saying goes, there is nothing new under the sun. And only seven basic plots. So, if you think you've heard any of this before, well, there's a reason for that. Or seven reasons, I suppose.

For most of the NFL - and specifically, my pigskin paladins, the New England Patriots - the offseason has already begun. Which means stories are being told; cautionary tales filled with villains and broken heroes whose last chance power drive has unfortunately run out of gas and been left in a ditch somewhere in the swamps of Jersey.

Unsurprisingly, the pigskin pundits and bobbleheads who serve up content for Patriots Nation have risen to the occasion, providing us with some much needed drama. Yes, we all need drama. Just take one look at humanity and you know it's true. We need drama like we need oxygen. So, let's have some…

The Locker Room

Remember when Tom Jackson said the Patriots players hated Belichick? Yeah? Good times! 

That was then, as they say, and this is now. 

I wonder how much of this more recent news from "sources in the Patriots locker room" is a reflection of generational politics and how much of it is pure football. I'm sure there's some of both involved, and I may be reading too much between the lines, but I'm getting a strong Boomer vs. Gen-Z vibe in what I've been reading.

The kerfuffle over the Jake Bailey/Jack Jones suspensions seems to me to share aspects with comments regarding how Mac Jones was treated after being hospitalized with a near fatal case of Zappe Fever. Gen-Z's need respect, autonomy, and inclusion. Gen-Z doesn't want to be told; they want to be informed and be a part of the decision-making process. They want flexibility; rather than follow rules they want to achieve goals. 

Quick Aside: I worked for the IT department of a global financial institution back in the day. When I joined the company, the dress code required that I wear a tie. Every day. (This was before casual Friday became a thing. Yes, I'm old.) If you were serious about your career, you wore a suit and a button down shirt. A white button down shirt. (Shirts with colors or patterns are just not serious.) Flash forward 25 years and I'm a manager talking with one of the 20-something engineers on my team about the employee satisfaction survey results. I ask him what his biggest issue is and he says the company's dress code. As he was wearing sandals, jeans, and a t-shirt as he said this, I thought for a moment he was kidding. 

He wasn't. 

He wanted to be able to wear shorts in the Summer.

He was angry about it. Not psychotically angry but, well, let's say passionate.

Here's the thing. 

He was right that short pants in the Summer wouldn't hurt his productivity. The dress code was just Boomer management arbitrarily yelling at him to get off their long pants lawn. 

Think of it as subtext the next time a young Patriots player says, "Okay, Boomer" to Bill Belichick. 

All those young head coaches on the sidelines in the NFL? Yeah. There's a reason for that. 

The OC

Bill O'Brien has been mentioned so often we should all just be glad he isn't Beetlejuice. Kliff Kingsbury began trending as New England's next OC about 7 seconds after being fired by the Arizona Cardinals. Some local pigskin pundits and bobbleheads have floated internal candidate Nick Caley, the Pats current TE coach. It seems unlikely Belichick would keep Matt Patricia after what the hyperbolic among us might like to say was a disaster of Biblical proportions on offense in 2022. (Okay. It was never as bad as a plague of frogs swarming the field at Gillette Stadium, leading to a Too Many Frogs on the Field penalty, but, it was pretty bad.) Or maybe it will be the always fascinating "I Did Not See That Coming" calling plays in 2023. 

It has happened before.

I know I should be all in on Bill O'Brien. He was successful with Brady in New England in a previous stint, but more importantly, he was successful with Mac Jones at Alabama. 

Seems to write itself, doesn't it?

But I can't help being intrigued by Kingsbury and the possibility the Patriots might actually run a 21st century offense at some point during the 21st century. I know I'm just talking myself into this but I feel like Kingsbury-Jones is a much better fit than Kingsbury-Murray ever was.

Giving Mac Jones his third offensive coordinator in three years is hardly a recipe for success in the NFL, but with O'Brien or Kingsbury, I think you have a better chance to succeed on offense than with any of the other currently known alternatives.

The only point in Patricia's favor is continuity, but since what we'd be continuing is not-quite-plague-of-frogs mediocrity, maybe that's really not a point in his favor.

Caley may be a great offensive coordinator someday but he would strike me as being a repeat of hiring Patricia as OC; someone untested, learning on the job, ultimately wasting another year of Mac Jones' career.

Also, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is the definition of… something… help me out, here?

The QB

Belichick has hardly been throwing bouquets at Mac Jones in his recent end-of-season comments. Since that's so totally on brand for Belichick, though, I'm not sure how much we need to read into that. (I'm not sure Belichick likes quarterbacks, anyway; seems more of a linebacker kind of guy.) I've seen advanced stats posted by local pigskin pundits and bobbleheads that say McCorkle is better than you may think he is, but being a fanboy is a bottom line business. 8-9-0 isn't going to make any of my neighbors stop sharpening their pitchforks or putting out their torches. Not in New England, where we do have something of a history when it comes to that kind of thing.

Many of my fellow citizens on Patriots Nation have made up their minds about Mac but I'm not so sure. Given the assumption that he will have yet another new voice in his helmet in 2023, I'm not sure we'll know after next season, either. 

More context…

I'm thinking about the DeAndre Hopkins rumors, and how it seems the Patriots are always hooking up with great wide receivers at the end of their careers instead of in their prime. Think about that in the context of some of those stats I referenced above. Specifically, the comparison of Mac Jones' and Josh Allen's first two years. It wasn't till his third year that Josh Allen really became Josh Allen. 

You know, when the Buffalo Bills went out and got Stefon Diggs. 

I'm not saying Mac Jones can or will become Josh Allen. They're very different players and I never, ever want to see McCorkle running a QB sweep. But… Could Jones be the guy we saw at Alabama? I still think he could, but I do wonder if it will happen here in New England.

Sometimes, it writes itself badly.

Sometimes, there's just too much drama.