Pigskin Fatalism

 If you believe the pigskin pundits and bobbleheads, we can all relax in New England because the Patriots of 2022 will only be a story for all the wrong reasons; like a disaster movie where everybody dies. I mean, why did you even make that movie?

Now, I realize that for a large part of the world that hears "football" and thinks "pointy ends," there's some wishful pigskin thinking and a pinch of Patriots fatigue involved here. Just when everyone west of the Connecticut River thought the Patriots were done and dusted, they were back in the playoffs after a one year absence, and they definitely did not like it. 

We can quibble with the details around the margin but consensus is consensus and the gridiron consensus for 2022 is that the New England Patriots will not be in the playoffs. Or good. Or finish above the .500 mark. They may not even be mediocre. The Patriots finishing in the basement of the AFC East may be a minority opinion, but it's out there. 

God help you if that plays out and you have a friend who's a Jets' fan. 

Seriously, why are you friends with that guy?

It doesn't help that the standard definition of "success" in New England for the previous 20 years was winning the Super Bowl. Finishing 10-7-0 and getting blown out in the first round of the playoffs might be a great year for fans in Detroit. Or New York. Or any number of other metropolitan regions of the United States where pointy-ended football is played.

But that's not how we roll in New England. At least, not since 2001. Before that it was, admittedly, kind of the way we rolled. 

Recency bias. 

The struggle is real.

I really thought I'd be able to relax with the post-Brady Patriots. I'd be playing with house money. Games would no longer have an existential subtext, and yes, that's crazy, and I'm not sure I can explain it but after SB38, every Patriots game had a life of death feeling to it. When you're the champ, everyone is coming for your crown. 

After Brady, I'd finally be able to exhale.

That's what I thought.

But the haters are still hating and I don't know why but I'm still taking it personally. I assume this is the nature of being a fan but I also can't help thinking it might be psychosis. 

It isn't paranoia if everyone is actually out to get you, is it?

Then again, I'm not a doctor so what do I know?

Maybe the pigskin pundits and bobbleheads are wrong about the 2022 Patriots. Bill Belichick is famously inscrutable but - and maybe this is just me - he seems pretty happy with the team he has. 

I guess we'll see how it goes…

My Top 10 Patriots Hopes & Dreams

#1 - Mac Jones is a Legit MVP Candidate

Somehow McCorkle is still underrated despite outplaying all the QBs taken ahead of him in the 2021 draft. (Say it with me in the John McEnroe voice: You have got to be kidding!) Chip, meet shoulder. 

#2 - Jonnu Smith is a Pro Bowler

Despite the struggles last year, there were definitely flashes of what he can do with his rare blend of size and athleticism. Shades of Ben Coates. 

#3 - Career Year for Nelson Agholor

That would mean 65+ catches, 897+ yards, and 9+ TD. And yes, you could've just looked that up yourself. 

#4 - Kyle Duggar Draws Rodney Harrison Comps

Big, fumble-forcing hits in the secondary and multiple sacks off the blitz.

#5 - 8+ Sacks for Christian Barmore

I think the Pats will play a lot of big nickel (3 safeties) zone but I'm still nervous about New England's cornerbacks. Pressure up the middle would certainly help. It would be wrong to mention Barmore and Aaron Donald in the same sentence, wouldn't it? I guess I don't want to be right.

#6 - Rhamondre Stevenson Challenges My Damien Harris Love

I feel like Damien Harris doesn't get the sweet love and affection he deserves from some of my fellow citizens in Patriots Nation and I think the Patriots are a better team with both Stevenson and Harris healthy and playing but I'm also intrigued by what Stevenson could do in the passing game (based on some recent comments from Belichick). Screen pass, Stevenson in the open field. Blockers out in front. Repeat.

#7 - DeVante Parker is a Red Zone Weapon

As much as I love Big Kick Nick, the Patriots settled for FGA far too often in 2021. Parker is going to help turn that around in 2022. I won't mind if he takes a few to the house from 20+ yards out, either.

#8 - Matt Judon is Back for More

Judon should benefit from Barmore's second-year leap and some on the other end of the line from the pu-pu platter of DaMarcus Mitchell, Dietrich Wise, Jr., Anfernee Jennings, and Josh Uche, Judon should match or exceed his sack total from 2021, but even if all he's doing is eating up double teams it will make it that much easier for the blitzing Kyle Duggar to get to the QB.

#9 - Special Teams are Special Again

Aside from Nick Folk inside the 40, the Patriots were not their usual selves in the kicking game last year. I can't imagine that sat well with Belichick nor do I imagine it continuing in 2022. 

#10 - It's not like the 2021 Patriots Sucked

I haven't even mentioned David Andrews, Jake Bailey, Ja'Whaun Bentley, Kendrick Bourne, Trent Brown, and this is going to take a while if I list every veteran alphabetically and I think you get the idea. Belichick and the Patriots weren't starting 2022 from zero. 

#11 - Bonus Item: The Pats Got Younger and Faster

On average, the Patriots are still one of the "older" teams in the NFL despite adding youth - and speed - in the 2022 draft. Cole Strange (24-years old - along with running mate Mike Onwenu) is the plug and play starter at left guard, Chasen Hines may be a bit of an O-Line project but he's just 22. Joshuah Bledsoe (23) looked impressive in the preseason after his redshirt rookie year. Rookie DB Marcus Jones (23) is wicked fast and could be returning punts and kicks in 2022 and, okay, given there are 23 players 25 or younger on the Patriots roster I'm going to stop listing individuals before you, gentle reader, begin to hate me. You get the point. And you can sort a roster by age ascending just like me.

I may be the king of wishful thinking but just putting that list together made me feel a little better about the 2022 season. My icy cold glass of Bill Belichick's Wild Blueberry Kool-Aid is definitely half full!

Hey, you know she was right: Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate. Shake it off. It's just a game, after all.

A game I want the Patriots to win 52-3, damn it!