Pigskin Doom

 Is it Monday? How did I get here? The last thing I remember was Friday night and… Oh. That was bad. That was…

Wait! What? It was only a preseason game?

Yes, it was only a preseason game and…

"I don't think preseason games are a real big indicator of what the team is or isn't, 1 way or the other. That's not about us, it's about the NFL. But you get a great chance to evaluate players." 

- Bill Belichick via Mike Reiss/Greg Hill

In Bill we trust (amen). Still, the Patriots preseason week 3 loss to the Raiders was bad. So bad. U-G-L-Y/You ain't got no alibi bad. Yes, Darth Hoodie has two weeks to fix things but I can't help feeling like I'm looking down the barrel of a long September. And an even longer October. And I don't even want to think about November. 

December has Christmas so I'm cool with whatever else happens then. Other than the candy canes. Those things are just an opportunity cost for chocolate. 

Okay. Deep breath. Just a preseason game. Bill says, it is what it is and what it is is nothing to see here. 

I'd take another deep breath but now it feels like I'm hyperventilating. 

Who am I kidding? I'm ride or die, bitches. The Patriots are my boys, win or lose (and yes, it was a lot easier saying that five years ago). That doesn't mean I don't long for the little blue blanket of my pre-K years at times…

My Top Patriots Binkies for 2022 

• Belichick will find a way for this team to win. Do I understand what he's doing? No, I do not. Does that mean what he's doing is wrong? How would I know? And why do I keep asking all these rhetorical questions?

• Mac Jones is legit. Maybe they're asking him to carry a little more weight this season than most 2nd year QBs but I think he's more than capable. Was that MVP chatter a bit premature? Probably. Maybe. We'll see how it goes.

• The defense looks, dare I say, good. I think they know that they have to be good, that they may need to carry the offense for the Pats to win in September and I think they relish the opportunity.

• It's still August.

• Yo, Buffalo! Call me when you're going for your 6th Lombardi Trophy (and no, the four losses don't count). As a Patriots fan I should never forget that I'm playing with house money.

Go Pats!