I get why NASCAR is popular. We all drive cars. NASCAR has "car" right in the name. I don't even have to make a right hand turn. Yeah. Everyone thinks they can drive a car fast. (You're making a 'vroom' noise in your head right now, aren't you?) I totally get that.
But why is it that we all think we could be an NFL GM?
Yes. I'm talking about me.
Then again, I'm always talking about me. You're just along for the ride.
Anyway, like most good citizens of Patriots Nation, I've got a plan for my pigskin heroes. I understand Bill Belichick also has a plan, making everything that follows moot. I certainly have other ways I could waste my time, but will that stop me?
No. It will not.
Mike's 5-Point Plan for a Patriots Super Bowl Run in 2022
#1 - It is the End of an Era, so Just Move on Already
Release/Trade everyone over the age of 30 except Nick Folk and maybe Brian Hoyer.
(Personally, I'd try to convince Hoyer to become a QB coach and keep Jarrett Stidham but I readily acknowledge that I may be (likely am) the only member of the Jarrett Stidham fan club.)
That means saying farewell to Devin McCourty, Matthew Slater, Jamie Collins Sr., Dont'a Hightower, Lawrence Guy, Brandon Bolden, and Justin Bethel. Look, it's a young man's game. Cruel, I know, but isn't that always the case with the truth? Look, the Patriots need to get faster and you don't generally accomplish that goal by getting older.
Toughest Call: I think Devin McCourty still has some high test in the tank and I love me some Brandon Bolden but as badly as New England's special teams played in 2021, this might not be the best time to let Matthew Slater go.
#2 - Feed the Need for Speed
Speaking of getting faster, get some. Draft it. Sign it in free agency. Trade for it. Build it in a lab. Blast the team with gamma radiation. Just get faster. On both sides of the ball, with a focus on wide receiver on offense and linebacker on defense.
Note: I appreciated Jerod Mayo's comments comparing bigger, not so fast, run-stuffing linebackers with "undersized," fast, athletic linebackers, noting that he'd rather have a big linebacker who took that first step or two in the right direction but here's the problem: Nobody takes that first step (or two) in the right direction on every snap. And when they do get fooled (something I've heard NFL offenses try to do on the regular), they don't have the recovery speed to get back into the play. Which probably just ended in your end zone.
It's the 21st century. You need Micah Parsons more than you need Dick Butkus.
#3 - Pay J.C. Jackson
Turnovers have a strong correlation to wins; NFL teams that win the turnover battle win the game 70% of the time. J.C. Jackson is a turnover machine.
Sometimes, it's just that easy.
#4 - If it Doesn't Bring You Joy…
As much as we hope and pray(for those who believe there's a god and that god cares about football) for each year's draft class to turn into pro bowlers and Super Bowl Champions, things don't always work out.
I'm looking at you N'Keal Harry, Joejuan Williams, Chase Winovich.
It was real but now it's time for you to go. (No, there won't be a going away party. Well, not one that you'll be invited to, anyway.)
Remember: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result.
I just hope I'm not saying the same thing about Ronnie Perkins and Joshuah Bledsoe three years from now.
Upside is a fickle bitch.
#5 - Find Mac Jones his Stefon Diggs
People seem to forget that Josh Allen was riding the bullet train to Bust City before the Bills went out and got him Stefon Diggs.
Now, I love me some Jakobi Meyers and Kendrick Bourne but they're not Stefon Diggs.
Maybe an even better comp for the Patriots is what the Bengals did pairing Ja'Marr Chase with Joe Burrow.
Easier said than done, I know. (See N'Keal Harry, above.) Having said that, I'm in "whatever it takes" mode with this one. I might use the 1st rounder on a WR (unless there's an elite, "undersized," playmaking LB available). I'm using all my Day 3 picks on the tallest/fastest wide receivers left on the board. I'm asking Thomas Dmitroff to consult on drafting wide receivers.
I'm looking at free agents like Chris Godwin or (perhaps more realistically) D.J. Chark.
Does Calvin Ridley still want to play football? Maybe Atlanta thinks they can solve the riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma, that is N'Keal Harry?
I know. Recliner GMs like myself are always pulling off N'Keal Harry for Calvin Ridley trades.
While I'm at it, how about we get the Vikings to trade Justin Jefferson to the Patriots for all those guys over 30 plus Harry, Williams, and Winovich? That's a realistic trade, isn't it? Yes? No?
My point is, do whatever it takes to give Mac Jones an X factor on offense.
And…That's the plan!
I love this plan! I'm excited to be a part of it! Let's do this!
(Of course I love this plan. It's my plan, after all.)
Where are they playing Super Bowl LVII?
No comments:
Post a Comment