Football Happens

Am I the guy who said it would be hard for Sunday to top Saturday in the NFL playoffs?

Yeah. I was wrong about that.

I was right that the Buccaneers were playing too many backups to beat the Rams, even though that Tom Brady guy had me believing he was going to do it again. For about 45 seconds, anyway.

Four walk off wins in the divisional round? Are you kidding me? I'm picturing Roger Goodell, a la Scrooge McDuck, diving naked into a pit of gold coins. (And yes, that would hurt in real life; I should've been more specific and said it was a cartoon Roger Goodell - even though that feels redundant - and a cartoon pit of gold coins.) This weekend is why the NFL is the king of televised sport. (Take it easy out there. I'm talking football, not futbol.) It was, in a word, epic. In another word, thrilling. Amazingly, all four of these games could've gone the other way. Is that what the NFL means by parity? 

Best Storylines Remaining

The Tiger Kings: Joe Burrow & Ja'Marr Chase

The Bengals are the closest thing to chaos left in the 2021 playoffs so naturally, I'm drawn to them. They are also the longest shot left in the tournament and who doesn't love an underdog?

A question only I probably care about: How often do football players join a pro team with a name that echoes their college's? 

Burrow and Chase were Tigers in college at LSU and they're Bengals in the pros. That can't happen all that often. (I'm looking at you, Richmond Spiders. Okay, I'm afraid of spiders, but you know what spiders are afraid of? Shoes! I have several pairs of shoes, so, screw you, spiders! Where was I before I went down this parenthetical rabbit hole? Oh, right. Tigers and Bengals, oh my!) Does this Tigers to Bengals thing mean some cosmic force is at work here? 

I don't actually believe that to be the case, but what if, like so many other times in my life, I'm wrong?

Patrick Mahomes is the Bruce Li of NFL QBs

If you know, you know.

Redemption Songs

I'm not sure there are any actual Jimmy G fans, or so it seems. Garoppolo has won consistently whenever he's been healthy (and despite the physical nature of the sport, his oft-damaged body parts have been counted against him), he's already taken the 49ers to the Super Bowl once (a loss, so, again: You suck, Garoppolo!), and Jimmy GQ and the Niners just slew the Dragon of Lambeau (despite the Immunization Spell cast by the wizard Rogan the White), and yet, it seems 49ers fans just want the man to go away. Can it be redemption if nobody actually wants you to win? Or is that the best redemption song of all? 

The Rams are chock-a-block with redemption songs. Matthew Stafford, after years of sadness and pain in Detroit. OBJ, who may just have been right about Baker Mayfield's repeated attempts to kill football in Cleveland. The Broncos were happy to let former Super Bowl MVP Von Miller go. The Pats didn't want Sony Michel. Aaron Donald has been - according to many pigskin pundits and bobbleheads - the best player in the entire sport, regardless of position, but has yet to put a ring on it. And of course there's Sean McVay, the boy genius head coach who got pantsed by Bill Belichick just a few years ago in Super Bowl LIII. 

If the 2021 Rams were a movie, it would have a cast no studio could afford, and if it did get made, nobody would believe it. 

Sunday at SoFi 

Chris Hemsworth as Matthew Stafford

Anthony Mackie as Odell Beckham Jr.

Chris Pratt as Cooper Kupp

Anthony Anderson as Aaron Donald

Michael B. Jordan as Von Miller

Kevin Hart as Jalen Ramsey

Timothee Chalamet as Sean McVay

In theaters everywhere and streaming this Sunday on Amazon Prime!