Pigskin Mourning in America

Well, that really hurt.

And I think the Bills just scored another touchdown.

No?

Just a flashback, you say? 

Are you sure?

Yes?

Okay. I hope you'll understand if I take a few days to pretend I don't care about football, never cared about football, never even heard of football…

Who am I kidding?

I'm already on to Schadenfreude Pigskins! That's right. I'm all about your pain, now, fellow football fans! 

Top 5 Rooting Interests for Super Bowl LVI

#1 - Tom Brady

What do you get the man who has everything?

More.

I know I shouldn't root for my ex but we had six children together! (Cute, aren't they?) That should mean something, shouldn't it? Don't we owe it to our children to be grown ups about the break up? Why can't we both be happy?

Also, Brady in the Super Bowl makes everyone lose their shit. 

Bonus Points: Who doesn't want more Antonio Brown news?

#2 - Buffalo Bills

I'm usually not one of those guys who roots for the team that beat my team in order to claim a vicarious second place finish. I'm one of those guys who roots against the team that beat my team so their fans can suffer even more than I did by losing an even bigger game. But, the Bills are my brother-in-law's team so at least publicly I'll be rooting for the Bills to make it to SoFi Stadium in February. 

But am I really? 

Hm. The Super Bowl Hangover is real so maybe rooting for the Bills isn't such a bad idea. It is time to start thinking about next year, after all.

Also, the idea of the Bills losing to Brady in the Super Bowl is hilarious. Oh, did I say that out loud? Sorry, bro-bro.

#3 - Tennessee Titans

Because, um, well, Vrabel, I guess. Look, anybody but the Chiefs, okay? 

#4 - The Wake for Ben Roethlisberger

Yes, I'm tempted to root for the Steelers to upset the Chiefs but Great Gridiron Gods! I am so sick and tired of the Steelers! I'm so looking forward to an entire 4th quarter of "Well, if this is how it ends for Ben Roethlisberger…" commentary, with Kansas City up by 4,000 points.

#5 - Packers Lose NFC Title Game Again

It's just good television.