Bill Belichick is Smarter Than You

John Harbaugh is asking the league to investigate why he doesn’t know the rules of the game he coaches. I expect Commissioner Roger Goodell to appoint David Petraeus as an independent investigator Monday with a full report expected by the end of the month.

Hey, it wouldn’t really be a big Patriots win if they weren’t accused of cheating, would it?

For the haters holding desperately to that “They haven’t won since Spygate” mantra, Saturday’s Patriots win will only cause them to gnash their teeth, pluck hairs from their beards and howl with indignation over the Patriots use of four offensive linemen with Shane Vereen as an ineligible receiver. Wicked, tricksy, false Patriots!

Harbaugh seems to believe the officials announcing to the Ravens – and the crowd – that Vereen was ineligible and that they shouldn’t cover him (I don’t recall this detail but it’s been referenced in a number of posts I’ve read following the game) somehow led directly to his defense’s inability to cover Michael Hoomanawanui, the Patriots blocking tight end who caught just 3 passes during the regular season. Harbaugh was so incensed by this affront to pigskin decency that he threw a little tantrum, running onto the field, stomping his feet and threatening to hold his breath until the officials stopped Bill Belichick from outcoaching him. The officials, equally confused by Belichick’s knowledge of the rule book they are asked to enforce, did the only thing they could do at that moment, handing Harbaugh an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty because they were at least familiar with the rule regarding head coaches throwing tantrums on the playing field.  

As for Belichick’s substitutional formational trickeration, “It’s not something that anybody’s ever done before,” according to Harbaugh.

Translation: “Fucking Belichick, man.”