Then there were four, one of them riding a pale horse, wearing a hoodie.
Once Upon a Time in the West
People who are burying Tim Tebow after the 45-10 beat down in Gillette might want to consider the career arc of Alex Smith. Once upon a time, Smith was the #1 pick in the NFL draft. He was universally considered a bust until this year. He had never had a QB Rating above 90 until the 2011 season. This year he became a game manager; this generation’s Trent Dilfer, handing the ball to Frank Gore and throwing a league low 5 INT (and just 17 TD) while a dominating defense led the way. Yesterday, he ran and threw the San Francisco 49ers to the NFC Championship game, beating the favored New Orleans Saints and their vaunted offense, led by record-setting QB Drew Brees. Smith’s bootleg – it was really more of a straight up single-wing sweep – around left end was surprising not only for the call but for the speed he showed on his sprint down the sideline.
The game-winning TD pass to TE Vernon Davis was an absolute laser. I can’t imagine a quarterback in the league that wouldn’t want that play on their highlight reel.
Prediction: Saints 31, 49ers 18
Result: 49ers 36, Saints 32
I really thought the Saints would play better (obviously).
Note to Self: Never pick a dome team playing outdoors in the playoffs.
William Stephen Voldemort
This didn’t take long. Once again, Bill Belichick is running up the score – this time on Jesus – taunting his opponent with a quick kick on 3rd down and generally doing bad guy things and doing them so well that he never gets caught.
Let’s break down “Belichick marches to beat of own drum in blowout of Broncos” by Simon Samano of NFL.com (quoted content in italics):
They were up 42-10 by the end of the third quarter. There really was no need for New England's starters to be in the game at that point.
But that's Belichick for you. He does things his way.
Bill Belichick is the only head coach in NFL history to play his starters into the 4th quarter of a game his team was winning by 32 points. What a dick!
The problem, though, is that it can come back to bite you. It sort of did when Patriots tight end Aaron Hernandez left the game with a head injury after the second play of the fourth quarter -- on a run up the middle, no less.
Fact: NFL players never get hurt in the first three quarters of a football game.
Oh, feel free to dismiss the fact that Hernandez was not hurt as mere luck and happenstance. Also, never run the ball up the middle. It’s far too dangerous.
And then there was Tom Brady's punt out of the shotgun toward the end of the game, which just felt like a case of Belichick getting cute because he could.
Those of us who were hoping Brady would throw a 7th TD pass beg to differ. A flea-flicker resulting in a 4th TD catch for Gronkowski? That’s right. You may think the Patriots were running up the score but we projected a 70-14 final at halftime and were hoping Brady would throw 10 TD passes. The Patriots clearly slowed their roll in the second half.
“That's the kind of play we work on forever, and you never know when it's going to come up,” Belichick said, adding: “We just felt like that was a good time to do it.”
The Broncos seemed to take exception, though. Rookie Von Miller got in a cheap shot on Patriots offensive lineman Dan Connolly at the end of the play, setting off a scuffle on the sideline. Belichick getting under the rookie's skin, you think?
I appreciate the characterization of Miller’s after the whistle, blind side hit on Connolly as a “cheap shot” (because it was) but the implication that this was somehow justified by the Brady punt is bizarre. Why would Belichick wait until the 4th quarter, until his team was winning 45-10 before trying to throw Von Miller off his game? I thought we’d all agreed that Belichick is an evil genius. Evil, but still, you know, genius. It doesn’t add up.
I know! Maybe it was Matt Light and Nate Solder that were in Von Miller’s head; they were the guys who held Miller and Elvis Dumervil to zero sacks and zero tackles. Maybe Miller just lost it because he was playing the biggest game of his life and he was getting his ass kicked.
By the way, if the Packers had been beating the Giants 45-10 in the 4th quarter of their game and Aaron Rodgers had quick-kicked a 48 yard punt everyone would’ve thought it was just awesome. Then they would've chuckled over those "discount double-check" commercials.
You know I’m right.
It was classic Hoodie. He can be sinister sometimes.
A punt on 3rd down with a 45-10 lead is evil? Oh wait, I forgot. Bill Belichick = Evil Genius. He’s a genius, yes, but evil, too.
But hey, he's the one headed to the AFC Championship Game, so who is anybody to tell him differently?
Certainly not you, asshole.
Prediction: Patriots 38, Broncos 20
Result: Patriots 45, Broncos 10
Lesson Learned: You cannot stop Rob Gronkowski; you can only hope to contain him.
Actually, I don’t think you can contain him, either. Unless 10 catches, 145 yards and 3 TD is containing him.
Observation: The defense has looked better with Brandon Spikes and Patrick Chung back in the line-up, Mark Anderson standing up and Devin McCourty playing safety. I hope I’m not just talking myself into this.
Playing to Form
In case we forgot T.J. Yates was a rookie, he reminded us of the fact in his 17 of 35, 3 INT, 28.8 QB Rating game against the Baltimore Ravens. The Ravens were hardly impressive in victory; they were outgained by the Texans 315 to 227.
Prediction: Ravens 24, Texans 13
Result: Ravens 20, Texans 13
Clearly, I overestimated the Ravens’ offense. Or did I underestimate the Texans’ defense? Some questions cannot be answered, I guess. Neither of these teams appeared to have gotten the NFL’s memo on offense. I would give credit to the Ravens for winning a game with Ray Rice rushing for just 60 yards on 21 attempts (a 2.9 yard average). That’s one of those “If you’d asked Gary Kubiak, ‘How do you like your chances if you hold Ray Rice to under 3 yards per rush?’ I have to think he’d have liked those chances in a big way!” statistics. I can hear Dan Dierdorf’s voice in my head saying it. (Make it stop!) And still the Ravens found a way to win.
Citizens of Patriots Nation will spend far less time over the coming week talking about Baltimore’s unimpressive divisional win, their aging defense, Joe Flacco’s regression or the Ravens’ 4-4-0 road record in 2011 than we will recalling their 33-14 win in the 2009 wild-card game in Gillette. They handled the Patriots that day. It was tough to watch.
They will bring essentially the same team to New England next Sunday.
If Terrell Suggs doesn’t guarantee a win by Tuesday I will be sorely disappointed.
The Patriots’ win Saturday night ended their playoff losing streak but only a win over the Ravens will exorcise the ghosts of Christmas past for the Patriots.
Ice Station Zebra
There’s no reason why it should take two or three minutes to review a play in an NFL game. It takes us watching the game at home all of about 15 seconds. Replay. Judgment. Done. There is absolutely no reason for the referee to go “under the hood.” There should be an official up in the booth and he should just call down to the referee after he watches what we’re watching at home.
Also, there is absolutely no credible excuse for getting the replay wrong in a playoff game with the extra cameras.
Yeah, that was a fumble.
Prediction: Packers 35, Giants 26
Result: Giants 37, Packers 20
That new Green Bay dynasty didn’t last long, did it? I kept waiting for the Packers to make a play. After a while I merely hoped they would actually hold onto the football. It was a fairly decisive beat down and (yes, I’m going there) it could have been worse. It’s the Giants who look like a foregone conclusion, now; unless you live in San Francisco, of course.
Legacy Schmegacy
Going into the game with the Broncos, with the specter of a fourth straight playoff loss, there was a lot of talk about Bill Belichick and Tom Brady and their legacy, with a word cloud that included “tarnished,” and “stained” and “ruined” in 36 pt. font. So, I was wondering what this weekend meant to other legacies.
Like Drew Brees and the Saints and their apparent inability to win a football game outdoors.
Or that the Packers and Aaron Rodgers are seemingly incapable of winning a playoff game at home.
I’m just saying.
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