The first team that I ever hated was the Oakland Raiders. As a young boy I rooted for the Denver Broncos PE (Pre-Elway). The Raiders would routinely roll the Broncos. I feared the Raiders. And I hated them. They were savage, inhuman, unfeeling, bloodthirsty creatures from a drive-in motorcycle vampire movie. I was young so I cut myself a little slack. I was clearly irrational when it came to the Raiders. I can see how crazy that was, because I am no longer a child, I’m an adult. I’ve got a house, a family, two cars, a high stress job I may or may not survive (I like my chances), a kid in college halfway around the world and two indoor cats. My name is Michael and I hate the Jets.
I also hate the Colts and the Steelers.
From one season to the next, division winners play each other. There have been three elite teams over the past decade; the Colts, Steelers and Patriots. Those three teams have played each other nearly as often as they’ve played their divisional opponents, once in the regular season and often a second time in the playoffs. Such rivalries lead to transcendent victories and agonizing junk-punch defeats. I’ve got Willie McGinest stuffing Edgerrin James on 4th and Goal; Colts’ fans have the comeback from 21-3 in the 2006 AFC Championship. I’ve got Rodney Harrison with a Pick 6 in the Big Ketchup Bottle; Steelers’ fans can say, “Yeah, but we stopped your NFL record regular season winning streak at 21!”
Whatever.
I hate those guys.
I may hate the Ravens, too. It really doesn’t feel like 6-1-0 against the Ravens. Maybe because that one loss was so indelibly stamped upon our pigskin psyches. And yes, I’ve filed that one in the Agonizing Junk-Punch Defeats folder.
For either team, the AFC Championship represents their chance to be savage, inhuman, unfeeling, bloodthirsty creatures from a drive-in motorcycle vampire movie. And I mean that in the best possible way. A finesse team will not win this game. Tough guys are going to win this game.
Tough guys.
Once again, the Patriots injury report is full. Eighteen players listed on Wednesday. Three offensive tackles. Brady a DNP. Brady back on the field Thursday.
Of course Tom Brady will play!
Of course Ed Reed will play!
Tough guys.
I doubt I can be completely rational about this game, but I’ll try to break things down as objectively as possible…
The Ravens Will Win If…
They ace Football 101.
The Ravens are an elemental – some might say medieval – football team. They are built to run the football on offense and inflict pain on defense. As in many athletic contests, this game is all about which team imposes its will. Baltimore wants to shorten the game and keep the score in the teens. They will get after Brady and play man-to-man, negating New England’s fast break offense. Ray Rice will break one off and take it to the loading and unloading zone. Flacco was so seriously overrated he is now seriously underrated. Expect the Ravens to run that old Raiders offense (run off tackle, throw deep) and for the NFL’s Rodney Dangerfield to drop a bomb on Torrey Smith as the Ravens win 17-16.
(I strongly recommend you put in the ear buds and max out the volume before you click play. What happened to these guys?)
The Patriots Will Win If…
They are who they are.
The Patriots are multifaceted and asymmetrical on offense. Thought of as slow and susceptible to man-to-man coverage, New England has consistently shown the ability to hit the long ball, from Wes Welker’s 99-yard TD catch and run in Game 1 against Miami to Deion Branch’s 66-yard TD catch and run in the Divisional round against Denver. Tom Terrific will know where Ed Reed is at all times, make the pre-snap read and then find Gronkowski or Hernandez or Welker or Branch or Edelman or run a draw to Woodhead. The New England defense will be more than good enough to contain the Baltimore offense, Edelman will surprise with a punt return and the Brady Bunch will prevail in style 34-13.
One of these teams will play their game on Sunday. One of them will eat dirt and do the chicken.
Meanwhile, the Giants and 49ers each hope they’ve got more magic beans left in their bag than the other one has. Who had these two teams in the NFC Championship? There have been some big games between these two franchises over the years but not recently and consequently there hasn’t been quite as much juice in Giants v. 49ers as Ravens v. Patriots. Even so, I expect this game to be every bit as entertaining as Saints v. 49ers. Not that it will be pretty. Both of these teams are coming off big, emotionally draining wins. They could both be running on fumes by midway through the third quarter.
The Giants Will Win If…
They control the line of scrimmage.
If they keep Eli clean and if they can contain Frank Gore, they should win big. If Eli has time to find Hakeem Nicks and Victor Cruz the Giants can score points from just about anywhere on the field. I wouldn’t count on many long, sustained drives against the 49ers defense, no matter how well the Giants offensive line plays. Great pass rushing defensive linemen like to show they’re good against the run, too. Big Blue keeps Gore out of the end zone and they win 27-10 in a game that wasn’t as close as this score indicates.
The 49ers Will Win If…
Nobody says “Constantinople” to Alex Smith.
Seriously, the dude has been hypnotized, right? Only instead of suggesting that he’s a chicken (always funny), John Harbaugh whispered “Otto Graham” to the hypnotist and then came up with that long time gone spell breaker, just to be safe.
But seriously, the 49ers defense has to get after Eli Manning and Frank Gore must cause time to speed up. When the Giants put eight in the box, Otto Graham Alex Smith and Vernon Davis must make them pay. David Akers kicks four field goals – including the game-winner – as the 49ers prevail 19-17.
Okay, I was going to go there; “Lights” by Journey. It is the San Francisco song after all. For whatever reason, I just couldn’t do it. I’ll go here instead…
As far as I know, this is the only song about a 49er. Kind of downbeat…
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