Monday, December 26, 2011

Schot Through the Heart

Perhaps I’m enjoying this too much.  Certainly, I’m enjoying it too early.  Despite the complex scenario required for their post-season survival, until I hold my finger to the neck of the Jets corpse and fail to detect a pulse, stuff garlic in the mouth, cut off the head, salt and burn the body, I will continue to picture J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets running out the tunnel from the visitors’ locker room at Gillette Stadium for a playoff game with the Patriots.  Having said that, the Jets loss to the Giants in the Battle of New Jersey is almost too delicious not to savor.  I’ll just have another small slice of that pie, please.



Okay, I’ve seen the “Fuck you, Mason” sequence in the Bill Belichick: A Football Life pigskin doc, so Rex Ryan getting into it with Brandon Jacobs is more about context than content.  Derrick Mason was talking trash to the Patriots sideline while his team, the Ravens, was losing.  It was a classic “Check the scoreboard, asshole” moment and it was in game action.  Before and after games, Belichick is constantly punching up Aretha on the karaoke machine. 



He took some heat for his rather belligerent defense of the winless Indianapolis Colts ahead of their December 4th game.  It’s a cliché because it’s true: It isn’t the better team that wins on Sunday; it’s the team that plays better.  It’s essentially what NYG HC Tom Coughlin said in his response to Rex’s bluster before his team lost 29-14 and put Rex’s annual Super Bowl prediction on life support.  Shut up and play the game. 

It wasn’t that the Giants played that well.  The G-Men could manage just 11 first downs against the Jets vaunted D.  Eli Manning was 9 of 27 for 217 yards, 99 of that coming on a record-tying TD pass to Victor Cruz.  Ahmad Bradshaw led the Giants with 54 yards rushing.  The Jets simply outsucked the Giants and it’s hard to ignore their game plan in terms of how it contributed to the suck. 

Being Brian Schottenheimer
The Jets dialed up 64 passing plays against a Giants front seven that would much rather rush the passer than defend the run. 64!  If your quarterback was completing just 56.2% of his passes (ranking 31st), averaging 6.4 yards per attempt (ranking 31st) while passing for 217.8 yards per game (21st), would you put together a game plan that put the ball in his hands 64 times?  That’s what NYJ OC Brian Schottenheimer drew up for Mark Sanchez.  Jets fans seem divided as to who deserves the first bullet, Schottenheimer or Sanchez.  For whatever it’s worth, consider the fact that Shonn Greene’s 4.2 yard per rush average ranks 30th among NFL running backs and the “ground and pound” Jets actually trail the pass-first Patriots (108.4 to 104.2 yards per game) in team rushing.



Perhaps Rex Ryan needs to read Walt Whitman.  (Perhaps we all do.)  On some level, I think I get it, but how would we remember Joe Namath’s guarantee if the Jets had lost Super Bowl III?  We would’ve filed that under “What Else Could He Say?” and we’d likely still be debating his Hall of Fame worthiness.  In three short years, Rex Ryan has gone from brash media darling to profane blowhard and in recent days to contrite apologist.  Acknowledging the obvious truth – the Giants are the better team – had to sting.  Despite the promise of early playoff success, the Jets now seem on the verge of blowing things up and starting over.

Meanwhile, Tom Brady is still playing at an elite level and the grimly tight-lipped Belichick already has his understudy, Ryan Mallett, waiting in the wings. 



We define our pigskin heroes by how they perform in big games.  Joe Namath has a bust in Canton not because of his career numbers but because of Super Bowl III.  What have we got in Week 17?

Big hand(s) I know you’re the one
The Eagles and their fans have an entire season to chew on the gristly fact that they had the best team in the NFC East and couldn’t even get into the playoffs.  Instead, the deeply flawed Cowboys and Giants will play for a playoff spot this Sunday in yet another referendum game for Tony Romo.  The best thing Romo and the Cowboys have going for them?  Everything says the Giants should win this game. 



Fallin’ in and out of love…
What’s up with Cincinnati?  The Bengals will be playing for a playoff spot this Sunday and beating division rival Baltimore would be the jimmies on the sundae and they’re begging fans to come out to support them?  This just doesn’t seem right.  Are they afraid of having their hearts broken again?  Have they forgotten that love is worth that risk? 

I know Baltimore needs a win to hold onto first place in the AFC North but haven’t Bengals fans noticed how poorly the Ravens have played on the road this year?



Wild, Wild AFC West
The Chargers are the Eagles of the AFC West; they are quite likely the best team in the division yet they will not move on to the playoffs.  The Chiefs, on the other hand, have rightly been cropped from the playoff picture.  Sadly, the Raiders and Broncos will not play each other but will instead face their corners.  With division games there is always something at stake, of course, so I fully expect San Diego to do their best to knock out Oakland while the Orton-Tebow sideshow adds subtext to Kansas City’s trip to the Mile High City. 

So many melodramas here.  Was Carson Palmer a good move for Oakland?  (Who else was there?)  Do the Chargers really care if Norv Turner gets fired?  (You have to ask?)  Do the Chiefs really care if Romeo Crennel gets hired?  (It didn’t look like it last week.)  Does Jesus really care about football?  (No.)  Having said that (parenthetically), in a battle of field goal kickers, I like Denver’s Matt Prater and the Broncos to win the AFC West.

MVP Watch
Who ya got?  From here, Aaron Rodgers’ 5 TD passes in the win over Chicago sealed the deal but there are still Pigskin Pundits and Bobbleheads touting Drew Brees as he seems poised to break Dan Marino’s single season passing yardage record.  Does it diminish Brees’ accomplishment that Tom Brady likely will eclipse Marino’s mark as well?  A bit, I think.  Brady continues to be mentioned and dismissed in the, “Hey, you can’t forget Tom Brady” comment that gets tossed in after the cases are made for Rodgers and Brees.

Rodgers is most likely done for the year while Brees will likely have two more games to impress the voters but I don’t see it going any other way than Rodgers. 

Did I forget to mention…
I can’t see Brady winning back to back MVPs but what if Tom Terrific exacts payback on the Bills next Sunday, 400 yards and 4 TDs behind an injury-depleted offensive line, giving the Patriots and their league worst defense home field advantage in the AFC? 




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