Just Another Post

Beware your worst fear; it will always come true.

Who said that?

You didn’t invite him to the party, did you?

It’s a cheap gimmick, building an NFL Post around the weekly schedule, and I’ve resisted it long enough…

NYJ at DEN – This game will only be interesting if Tebow trucks Darrelle Revis on his way to 300 yards of total offense. 

CIN at BAL – The Bengals are kind of like Nathan Algren when he first gets to the Samurai leader’s village and Katsumoto’s right hand man is just beating him with a stick.

JAX at CLE – There are maybe 106 people who care about this game.  I am not one of them.

CAR at DET – The Lions need to get their swag back.  The Panthers are playing for 2015.  Unless those guys build a time machine and come back to play this game, the 2011 Lions will win.  Because, you know, swag.

TAM at GNB – Einstein was right about the point of view of the observer in the space-time continuum.  Back in August this game looked like it was shifting to the red.  

(I’ve been told physics humor kills.  No?)

BUF at MIA – If you were one of those Wall Street death eaters who are the reason I’m subjected to all those TD Ameritrade commercials with Sam Waterston, you’d be selling the Bills and buying the Dolphins.  You don’t care about people’s lives, how much this is hurting inside, if only Mom was here to see this; no, you just taking short-term profits.  Usurers!  Moneychangers!  The baby commercials are funny, though.  Still.  Usurers.  Uncool. 

OAK at MIN – So, am I crazy to think the Vikings win this game?  Two highly unpredictable teams, when you come to think of it.  I’m going with the Vikings.  Christian Ponder continues to beg the question, “Why did they go with Donovan McNabb in the first place?”

DAL at WAS – Is there such a thing as Pigskin Alzheimer’s?  Because if there is, I think Mike Shanahan has it.

ARI at SFO – The 49ers are Steve McQueen.  The Cardinals are B-Movie Bad Guys.

SEA at STL – Well, it’s a division game so I suppose it’s important.

TEN at ATL – Both of these teams really need this game.  The Titans must keep pace with the Texans, who are suddenly vulnerable with Matt Leinart (aka, Mark Sanchez 1.0) now thrust into the starting QB role.  The Falcons have to go out in public again for the first time since they threw up all over themselves at the office party.  This will be a very good game.  But it’s they’re AFC South and NFC South teams so I only care intellectually.

SDG at CHI – The Chargers start to look like somehow a gypsy curse could be involved.

PHI at NYG – It almost makes me want to be a Giants’ fan for this one.  They should be having a good time Sunday.

KAN at NWE – I fear the wounded animal.  Among many other things.  Many things.  Let’s just say I’m constantly on alert.  Among the many other things I fear is the very natural emotional letdown following any game with the Jets.  Monday Night.  The whole Pigskin World is watching.  The Chiefs have lost yet another starter and will put the game in the hands of Tyler Palko, whose claim to fame is that he beat out Joe Flacco at the University of Pittsburgh, leading Joe Flacco to transfer to Delaware, get drafted by the Ravens and become a decidedly mediocre starting quarterback for Baltimore the last three and a half years.  In his Wednesday press conference, Bill Belichick mentioned how good the Chiefs punter is (Dustin Colquitt, for the record).  He does have some good numbers, but, does Bill Belichick usually get to the punter when talking about this week’s opponent? 

That’s a good sign, right?