Patriots So White

I hope you haven't turned "Chris Hogan played lacrosse in college" into a drinking game. If so, you're probably face down in a puddle of your own vomit. Best wishes on a speedy recovery.

It's The Same Old Song

I guess there's no other way to put it. I've just been blackout drunk on the Patriots win in the AFC Championship Game. I finally woke up today and after a quick look around, all I could think was...

I really could use a drink.

I guess Willie Shakesberg was right; there really isn't anything new under the sun. Everyone west of the Connecticut River hates the Patriots. The Patriots are cheaters. (These two narratives may be related.) Bill Belichick is a genius albeit of the evil variety. (This may also be related to the "everyone hates the Patriots" narrative.) Everyone west of the Connecticut River hates Tom Brady. (Sensing a pattern now.) Tom Brady is the GOAT. Or not. Either way he's smug, condescending and arrogant. Blah, blah, blah.

What Was Your Question?

Well, I guess the Patriots defense finally played somebody.

Sunday Morning Coffee and Contemplations

Coffee. And bagels with cream cheese. It's a good start.

Lucky Socks

Apparently, Bill Belichick doesn't own a pair of lucky socks.

On the other hand, Robert Kraft might believe in lucky charms. Tedy Bruschi will be the Pats honorary captain for this, their sixth consecutive AFC Championship Game. New England is 8-0 in previous games honoring Bruschi.

It couldn't hurt.

Wishful Things

Look, I'll take the W however it comes. But last week's game took a lot out of me. It was a five vodkas game. My liver could really use a blowout this Sunday.

Let's start with...

Reputation

Apparently, the New England Patriots are a goddamned freak of the unnatural world. They haven't played anyone and yet somehow they've won 15 games. How does that even happen?