What Was That Definition of Insanity Again?

Pigskin pundits and bobbleheads, burned by past prognostications, are already backing away from the notion that this is the year the Patriots finish second in the AFC East. This despite Tom Brady’s four-game suspension. There’s still Sith Lord Belichick and his loyal lieutenants patrolling the sidelines. There’s the defense that gets to tune up for the regular season by facing Brady in training camp and there are all those weapons on offense Garoppolo will have at his disposal when things get really real. Everyone west of the Connecticut River is hoping against hope New England will stumble out of the gate at 1-3-0 if not 0-4-0 but like the gridiron cognoscenti, in their heart of hearts, they fear the Patriots.

Put another way, if you’re a Bills, Dolphins or Jets fan, the Patriots are in your head; Bill Belichick and Tom Brady are sitting on a couch in the living room of your head, watching Matt Damon movies.

If you’re a Patriots fan, you’re chuckling over the prospect that not one but two Ryan brothers will be fired at the end of this season, the notion Adam Gase can fix Ryan Tannehill and that this is the year Ryan Fitzpatrick gets to the playoffs.

Hey, want to go out and catch the new Bourne movie?

The Streets of Rome

As the Roman Empire was declining toward its historical autumn, did the good people living in the seven hills realize what was happening? Or did they lay about on their couches obliviously eating grapes from leaden bowls, bemoaning the Senate’s inaction on long-needed aqueduct repairs, increasingly annoyed by the complaints of the serving class demanding a 15 dinar minimum wage, dismissing the threat of a ragtag bunch of Visigoths to the north because things are always messed up in Germania, arguing with their brothers-in-law on the weekend over the recent rule changes designed to improve gladiator safety while waiting in line at the colosseum.

“Why don’t they just put skirts on them?”

Oh. Right. Yeah. Skirts. I guess those guys were secure in their own skins.

The First Quarto of Jimmy G

Maybe I am a cockeyed optimist (uh, no) but I think Jimmy G is going to be just fine and so, then, will the New England Patriots be in 2016.

I’ve got my reasons…

We're On To Football

I just needed to sleep on this one. I know, in today’s instant everything hot take live streaming world that taking a moment to actually think about anything is pointless. Everyone will have moved on by now, I’m sure. People are dying, governments are falling and the problems of few little people have never amounted to a hill of beans in this crazy world.

Still, I needed a little space after nearly two years of the mental disease we came to know as Deflategate. Last night I sought refuge with my family in a local bistro where the air conditioning wasn’t quite up to the heat wave but the lobster with oat risotto was one of the most delicious dishes I’ve ever eaten (thank you Thistle Pig). The two tall vodka and tonics didn’t hurt either. And my wife and daughter spent most of the meal talking Harry Potter as they recently decided to re-read the entire series. They’re up to the “Order of the Phoenix.” I’ll leave you, gentle reader, to determine if there’s a metaphor in there somewhere.

And now it’s the next day and I’m waiting for the coffee maker to finish…

Doing the Math At The End of a Bad Day

Let me say up front that as injustices go - even considering the larger labor law implications - Tom Brady vs. The NFL hardly rises to the level of tragedy. After this past week, I think we all know what tragedy looks like. This is more of a comedy of errors, full of jokes that nobody gets.

The Brady Divination - Episode 5

She found herself walking the old grounds around the house, not knowing why, feeling that something had changed, sensing that something was wrong even before she felt his presence. A cold breeze stirred as he spoke.

“Welcome back to 2016, Silendrial,” Ted Wells said. “I guess your husband will have to win that fifth ring all over again.”

The Brady Divination - Episode 4

The large conference room is dark except for the reading lamps that sit on top of the large oval table that dominates the room. There are 32 of the translucent green shaded reading lamps in front of 32 oversized leather chairs surrounding the table. As Roger the Good enters the room he is greeted by silence. He scans the room and notes - as expected - that most of the seats are empty. The men who are seated at the table are shrouded in darkness but he knows by where they’re seated who is there. Jerry Jones, John Mara, Robert McNair, Steve Bisciotti and Jim Irsay were in their usual seats and Jones was wearing his usual, powerful musk. Roger felt an allergen-induced sneeze coming on.