99 Problems But The Pitch Ain't One

Let’s face it. Whatever Donald J. Trump did once upon a time just doesn’t matter. Everyone knew he was a devious huckster, a free market opportunist, a carnival barker, a preening egotist, a lout, a reality TV celebrity who conflates financial success with intelligence. We knew all that before he road the down escalator to his anti-immigrant fueled announcement for the Republican nomination. We knew all that and still record numbers of Americans came out to vote for him in the primaries.

So, some story about Trump pretending to be a Trump spokesman/public relations flack named John Miller or John Barron (what, no John Smallberries?) is supposed to knock The Donald off his pins? Bitch, please.

Rational Rationalizations

Let’s face it, when we’re tracking the 90th spot on the roster, we really have to ask ourselves if we’ve got our lives’ priorities in order.

My answer: What? Are you kidding? Of course I do!

And welcome back to the Hawaiian Hammer, Joey Iosefa!

Gronkilicious

It's Gronk's world and we're just living in it. 

The Triumph of Dope Over Reason

The Republican Party woke up last Wednesday and when they looked themselves in the mirror, the found Donald J. Trump staring back at them.

Their reaction has been both hilarious and horrifying. I'm trying to laugh but for some reason, I feel tears coming on.

Going on the Offensive

Local pigskin pundits and bobbleheads have let us know just how awesome the Patriots’ drafted and undrafted rookies are while the national gridiron cognoscenti have given New England’s 2016 draft a composite grade of C. Okay, I think I saw a B- somewhere.

It's Time to Dream Big

Well, the draft is over and everyone is sure their team, bolstered with youth and talent, is on it’s way to the Super Bowl. Well, except for Cleveland Browns’ fans. They know better.

Most fans believe their team did well in the draft if they recognize the names taken, names they heard in the run up to the draft. Players from Top 10 programs, Combine warriors. Mentions by Mel Kiper, Jr., Todd McShay and Mike Mayock. If you’ve heard their names it was a good pick. It’s something of a self-rationalizing system.  For the most part, over the first 100 picks, it works. Sure, there are famous 1st round busts but the top talent in any field is fairly easy to identify. I remember reading an e-mail exchange between Malcolm Gladwell and Bill Simmons that Simmons posted on his site in which Gladwell posited an interesting point. While he had only a superficial knowledge of the sport of basketball, he could actually use that to his advantage and still be quite successful. He wouldn't be in a position to over-analyze, to over-think his draft strategy. All he knew was that schools like Duke, Kentucky, North Carolina, Kansas, etc. were really good college basketball schools so as an NBA GM, he would simply draft from those schools.

Think about that as you consider how many kids from Ohio State were drafted this year.

Dealing With It

I’m not sure how to feel about pieces like Mike Freeman’s “Deflategate Fallout Looms Large” on BleacherReport.com. So, other people get that Tom Brady didn’t cheat, science exists and the Patriots deserve to have their draft picks and straight cash money returned.

Huh.

And Tom Brady is suspended for four games, anyway.

Because Roger Goodell has a tiny, tiny penis.

Well that’s what I heard!