Sunday, May 15, 2016

99 Problems But The Pitch Ain't One

Let’s face it. Whatever Donald J. Trump did once upon a time just doesn’t matter. Everyone knew he was a devious huckster, a free market opportunist, a carnival barker, a preening egotist, a lout, a reality TV celebrity who conflates financial success with intelligence. We knew all that before he road the down escalator to his anti-immigrant fueled announcement for the Republican nomination. We knew all that and still record numbers of Americans came out to vote for him in the primaries.


So, some story about Trump pretending to be a Trump spokesman/public relations flack named John Miller or John Barron (what, no John Smallberries?) is supposed to knock The Donald off his pins? Bitch, please.



Paul Ryan won’t endorse Trump. That’s a net positive for DJ Trump, isn’t it? Ryan is a part of the problem; he’s the face of the mainstream Republican Party that failed the base, the people who feel they’ve been lied to by a party that couldn’t stop a Kenyan socialist from giving women free birth control or letting perverts into public bathrooms despite majorities in the House and Senate.


Like the Tea Party before him, Trump is going to Washington to blow it up.  


It’s no longer sufficient to ask how many white supremacists there are in the United States (though I think there are a lot more than answer “Yes” when asked in phone polls). The real question is how many people in the US are pissed off. Policy doesn’t matter as much as the shared emotional context; the feeling that Washington doesn’t work for me is the tie that binds.


Donald J. Trump validates your feelings of anger and dislocation. You are not alone.


He doesn’t ask you to consider the point of view of those who disagree with you. 

Throw them out! Rough them up while you’re at it!


Trump doesn’t make any apologies for his 19th century views on women and knows that most of us would pay a lot more attention to Europe if Angela Merkel was 25 years younger and looked like Heidi Klum. Men look at Melania Trump and think, “Dude must have something going on.”


It isn’t just middle-aged white unemployed manufacturing workers who loathe and fear immigrants; every unemployed or underemployed low wage worker in America is happy to blame Mexican rapists for their fate. It couldn’t be that they lack the training and skills to succeed in a 21st century economy. It’s Mexicans.


Having Mexico pay for that wall? Brilliant!


I mean, I have no idea how that happens and Trump himself hasn’t explained how that happens but nobody’s ever provided a credible explanation for how they would bring peace to the Middle East or provide affordable college so why not Mexico paying for The Wall?


He’s going to nuke the Middle East. Hey, who hasn’t wanted to do that?


He’ll fix the deficit by printing more money. It’s that easy? Why haven’t we done that already?


He isn’t a true conservative. He isn’t a real Republican.


That’s the mic you just heard, hitting the floor.

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