Shiny Pennies

Squirrel!

April is the Cruelest Month After All

Where am I? Who am I? (I know. A bit early in the series’ timeline to be going to the amnesia well. Amnesia and traumatic blindness along with that episode set in the 30s is generally something you save for season 4 or 5 when you’re out of ideas and what you’d really like to do is end the main characters’ narratives in a hail of bullets or meteors or thousands of shards of broken glass, whichever makes the most sense in the context of the show’s basic premise. Still. I’m going there.) Sorry I haven’t written lately. I had amnesia. Sadly, I am now cured. I say sadly because when I had amnesia there was a chance I was a total badass. Statistically, you have to figure total badasses stand a much better chance of getting conked on the head than a middle manager working in the IT department of a major insurance company. Conk on the head being one of the leading causes of amnesia and all. So, not a badass as it turns out. Thanks for asking…

QB QB Dooo

The Dallas Cowboys filled a dump truck with cash and backed it up to Tony Romo’s front door. I know $108,000,000 may seem like a lot of money but don’t you think he would’ve gotten more if he’d hit free agency from the Arizona Cardinals or how about the Minnesota Vikings? Besides, when Aaron Rodgers signs his big extension Romo’s deal will look like more than fair market value.

Market Value

By the time you read this (something to do with temporal physics, the optic nerve and my chronic writer’s block), Ed Reed will be a Texan and Brian Urlacher will be a Bengal (I threw a dart). Wherever Urlacher winds up, like Reed, he will no longer be synonymous. The hardest thing about being the face of the franchise is when they take your face down off the billboard.

Look to the East

With a couple of high profile free agents taking their talents to South Beach, the inevitable question follows. Will Miami challenge New England for the AFC East in 2013?

A Sip of Kool-Aid

As a wise one hit wonder once opined, every new beginning comes from some otherbeginning’s end. We’re going to see a different offense from the Patriots next year and – fingers crossed – an improved defense. I’ve got a nice tall icy cold glass of Kool-Aid sitting right here in front of me. I also added a shot of vodka to it. You know. Just in case.

Everything Ends Badly

I get it. It’s a big deal. It hurts. But the Ravens wouldn’t pay Anquan Boldin $6m, either.

I’m just, you know, saying…