The Heel Turn

I am really going to be able to enjoy this?
 
Do I have a choice?
 
Perhaps more importantly, when do the Patriots break out the black jerseys?

 
I no longer get angry over the lame deflated football jokes but I haven't yet embraced them as the desperate "look at me" attempts of those the American education system has failed. They deserve my sympathy more than my contempt. Ultimately, I would prefer to give them neither.
 
Don't get me wrong. I've got my list.
 
The rest of the AFC East is on that list by default. They're division rivals after all. The Jets still occupy a special place on the list because it all begins with them; with Belichick's resignation as HC of the NYJ, with Spygate and with all the former Jets' employees who now work for the league and played key roles in Deflategate.
 
The Colts and the Ravens are on that list, too. The Steelers have been on that list for years. The Giants are on the list, too, because I suspect John Mara was one of the owners pushing Roger Goodell to use Deflategate to punish New England again for Spygate. The Broncos are on the list because Peyton Manning is their quarterback. 
 
I don't just want the Patriots to beat those teams, I want them to beat them in ways that leave a mark on their psyches. I want them to win in the last second on a controversial or inexplicable, unexpected once in a lifetime play. I want them to win by 35 points with Jimmy Garoppolo throwing touchdown passes in the 4th quarter while Tom Brady laughs and points at the replay on the big screen then high fives Julian Edelman on the sidelines.

I want to see shots of the other team's sideline with players on the bench with their heads down or with players yelling at each other, held back by teammates and coaches before punches can be thrown or with head coaches throwing their headsets to the ground and turning on their assistants.

I want to hear those same players and coaches after the game whining and complaining and making unsubstantiated accusations of unwritten rules being broken by the Patriots.

I want the Patriots to put a black tri-corner hat on the Flying Elvis. I want them to bust out black jerseys. I want Tom Brady to make the heel turn. I want to see him walk up to the podium in the post-game press conference, flanked by bodyguards that look like Danny Trejo, hold up a $1,000 bill and say "I've got a Grover Cleveland here for anyone who can tell me what rule we broke today." And when a pigskin pundit asks a question Tom doesn't like, he can have those bodyguards "escort" that reporter out of the room.

Make 'em pay, Tommy. Make 'em pay.