Karma Baby

So, is it true that what goes around actually does come around (yes, all the way back around)? Does what you put out in the universe eventually come back to you seven-fold? Karma, baby. You reap what you sow.

I'm looking at you, Indianapolis Colts.

 

Did Ryan Grigson sign a deal with the Devil and fail to read the fine print? Probably not but it would explain a lot. I mean, that looked positively apocalyptic last Monday night. If shit that bad was raining down on my head, an explanation that involved Bible verses tattooed on the back of a homeless man who is really a genius scientist hiding from his secret past – And then the Lord God Eternal smote shit upon the people, some real wrath of God stuff from an obscure Old Testament book like Joshua – would somehow be a comfort. Collateral damage in the great war between Good and Evil is more meaning than most lives can only aspire to.

I get it. Despite – or perhaps because of – our life experiences that tell us life as we know it is arbitrary and capricious, it's reassuring to believe in a fair and just universe. Of course, most of us have rather self-serving definitions of "fair" and "just." The scales of justice aren't perfectly balanced; they should tip just a bit in our favor. We're the good guys, after all. The Devil shouldn't break even; that wouldn't be, well, fair.

Maybe you're thinking the hard times the Colts have fallen upon are mere coincidence, a chimera, a small data sample. This is just life in the NFL. Tough road loss followed by a defeat at home that had pigskin pundits and bobbleheads feasting on the advanced stats of Andrew Luck. Deep breath people. It happens. There are simple explanations. For example: It's the natural result of overdrafting a slot receiver when you needed a defensive tackle. Or an offensive lineman. Just ask Chuck Pagano.

But Karmic payback for their role in Deflategate?

As noted above, it would – conveniently enough – explain a lot.

I suppose it's worth noting here the Baltimore Ravens – the Colts' "What? Who? Not me!" partners in Patriots' Envy – are also 0-2-0. It starts to feel just a little too coincidental for comfort, doesn't it? 

As a Patriots' fan, it's been great pointing and laughing at the Colts but in my heart I know there's no such thing as The Curse of Deflategate. What goes around almost never comes around. The Colts aren't losing because the Head Coach in the Sky has had just about enough of their bullshit. They're losing because they can't control the line of scrimmage. Which is funny enough and I will continue to point and laugh at them.

By the way, Tom Brady and the Patriots aren't winning as payback for Deflategate.

Tom Brady was one of the most insanely competitive human beings on the planet before Deflategate. He still is today. He's playing well. It's fun to watch but we've seen this before, haven't we? The Icy Commander. Tom Terrific. Young Odin. The Greatest of All Time. He's on pace (yes, small data sample) for the best season of his storied career at the age of 38 and it seems remarkably unremarkable. Will he retire if the Patriots win Super Bowl 50? It would be an unprecedented 5th win for Brady and back-to-back for the second time. He would've left the haters with nothing. He would have plenty of money. He could spend more time with Gisele and the kids.

I say no.

For Brady, the chance to win three in a row would be too much to pass up.

The Patriots aren't winning because of curses or karma or something that happened 8 years ago or because of how much air they have in their footballs or because of malfunctioning sideline headsets or warm Gatorade in the visitor's locker room (even if that stuff is just nasty).

The Patriots are winning for the same reason they've won for the last 15 years. They outwork your team. Their players are smarter than your team's players. Their head coach is better than your head coach. Their quarterback is a ninja. Tom Brady surveys opposing defenses like Robert Downey's Sherlock Holmes taking the measure of his adversary, seeing everything that will happen in slow motion, move and countermove, and then making it reality in 1.97 seconds. The Patriots don't just know the strength of the wolf is the pack; they live it. They're "us" and everyone else is "them." Everyone. They draft linemen in the first round. They trade for players that were buried on your team's depth chart and turn them into starters. They know what your team wants to do and they're ready for it; they'll have something new in this week's game plan and your team will whine about it after the game.

They Patriots are winning because they're better than your team.

That doesn't mean I'm going to stop pointing and laughing at the Colts.