Doing the Mathis

I’ll give Robert Mathis credit for playing the dying grandmother card. It’s going to be hard to top that one.

 

Okay, maybe Robert Mathis is telling the truth. Maybe he’s a well-meaning doofus who only wanted his dying mother to hold a baby in her arms one last time before she shuffles off this mortal coil. He’s a good but boneheaded man. As tragic as his mother’s story is and as carefully constructed as his story is, I still can’t help but have my doubts.

Mathis has acknowledged that he should’ve asked the league or the NFLPA if what he was about to take for baby-making purposes was a banned substance. Instead, he asked the doctor treating him for infertility if it would be an issue and that doctor said, “Robert, as a specialist in my field, I’m aware of the fact that fertility drugs are often used to mask the use of PED’s. It’s in the literature. I don’t know the specifics of the NFL protocols for banned substances, though, so I’ll advise you that you’ll have no problems passing your drug tests.”

Or words to that effect.

Whatever conversation Mathis had with his physician is privileged, of course. Mathis can characterize it in any way he wants but his doctor can’t say anything publicly (though apparently he has provided a written statement and Mathis’ medical records to the league).

Mathis is simply a victim here. Bad advice. What’s a millionaire football player supposed to do?

He’s supposed to check with the league or the NFLPA.

I would also note that Mathis was hoping to bless his mother with another grandchild. If this is “another” grandchild then there must’ve been a “previous” grandchild – twins, in fact. So, how did Mathis manage that?

And I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t ask this question: Doesn’t Robert Mathis have enough money to buy a baby? Throw a pillow up under his wife’s dress for a few months and if grandma is that far gone, how’s she going to know?

I also liked agent Hadley Englehard’s pre-emptive strike on those who were ready to question his client’s sudden spike in production in 2013, noting that it was simply the change from 4-3 DE to 3-4 OLB that led to Mathis’ 19.5 sack total. 3-4 OLB’s get all the sacks; everyone knows that. Well, everyone but Michael Strahan, a 4-3 OLB who set the single season record for sacks. And everyone but Robert Quinn, Greg Hardy, Mario Williams and Cameron Jordon. Seven of the Top 10 leaders in sacks for 2013 were 4-3 DE’s.

Nice try.

Okay, Robert Mathis has been a very good player for a very long time and maybe the move to OLB had something to do with his statistically significant increase in sacks in his 11^th year in the league. Mathis was always a bit undersized for the DE position and Colts HC Chuck Pagano is a master of the 3-4 defense. If anyone could take advantage of Mathis’ gifts as a football player, Pagano would be on the short list.

Maybe Robert Mathis is a well-meaning son and husband who got some bad advice. Maybe he isn’t a baseball fan.

Or maybe, like every other athlete who’s been caught cheating, he’s lying.