Stay Classy Haters

By now I’m sure you’ve heard that Terrell Suggs has it on good authority that all the other sisters in the sorority hate Tom Brady. That’s right. All of them.

 

Should we waste any time deconstructing Terrell Suggs latest shot at the Patriots? Perhaps we should ask Ray Lewis, the man who introduced Tom Brady when he finished #1 on the NFL’s Top 100 of 2011? Maybe Lewis was the only player on the Ravens who liked Tom Brady and now that he’s gone it’s unanimous, everyone hates the Patriots? Maybe Ray Ray was okay with Brady but hated everyone else on the Patriots?

What exactly is Terrell Suggs deal?

I’ll never know the answer to any of these questions and ultimately I don’t care. Even if T Sizzle’s ridiculous assertion that all the other NFL franchises hate the Patriots, what do I care? The Patriots have been in the playoffs like forever. Suck it other NFL fans. Hate me because Tom Brady is beautiful. I’m not hanging with you. Haters gonna hate.

And what does that even mean? All of the 31 other NFL teams hate the Patriots? If 27 or more players on the roster have ever been caught on tape or posted or tweeted something negative about the Patriots, that team hates the Patriots? What bleak and unforgiving “Lord of the Flies” world does Terrell Suggs live in that he has to construct this fantasy world of dark, hoodie-clad evil that Suggs identified, saving the other NFL franchises, making it okay for the players on those other teams to share their deepest secret feelings about Tom Brady and those piercing blue eyes… I mean, their antipathy for all things New England.

Google “Terrell Suggs Bleach.”

And then you can use this to clear your mental pallet. An amuse bouche of delightful pop music…

Wadsworth Mansion’s “Sweet Mary.”

Enjoy…