This One's Optimistic

Rob Gronkowski will play all 16 games (hopefully, all 19 games). The Buffalo Bills will make the playoffs. The New York Jets will win the AFC East. The New Orleans Saints will meet the Denver Broncos in the desert as Peyton Manning breaks all the records he set last year and this time wins his second Super Bowl MVP. Everybody’s optimistic right now, mostly because it’s going to be a lot harder come September.

Pigskin Pfutures

The countdown to opening day has begun. Training camps are starting this week. Soon I’ll be able to stop watching the Red Sox trying to convince me that 2013 never happened or watch as Kevin Love signs with someone other than the Celtics, like that was ever going to happen. Instead, I can focus my workday coffee breaks musing on the pigskin fantasy of Andre Johnson catching passes from Tom Terrific.

Like that’s ever going to happen.

Con Text

Should I be surprised when trolls throw their feces at the people crossing the bridge? Do trolls do that? Throw their feces? Seems like something a troll would do.

The Big Questions

All questions are answered in time. Not that you’ll care about the other questions after you get the answer to, “When happens when I die?”

Ten Years After

Ten Years. A literal lifetime on Planet Sports. In another ten years will I be hearing that these guys couldn’t even make the playoffs if they were playing today?

Someone Has To Finish Last

When Michael Vick signed with the Jets, he knew he would be competing with the lowest ranked quarterback in the NFL in 2013. How hard would it be to beat that guy for the starting gig? I think we all know how that’s been going. As a Patriots’ fan, I’m counting on a QB controversy in New York this fall, with every offensive snap placed under a microscope by the local pigskin pundits and bobbleheads (hardly known for their patience and compassion), followed by the inevitable locker room split as players swear allegiance to Geno Smith or Michael Vick. So, the recent “power ranking” of NFL quarterbacks by Mike Sando [insider content] was like catnip for me. The worst starting quarterback in the NFL? Eugene Cyril Smith III.

Why the Hate, Bro?

Regardless of what anyone says, we all want to be loved. Liked at the very least. Regardless of what people will admit, it hurts when you’re not liked. It’s boot to the balls painful when you’re hated. Even as you’re curled up in the fetal position, hands between your legs, it doesn’t make sense. What did you do to deserve this? A fair question unless your name is Adolf Hitler.