The Story of Lil's Lagoon

"The figure rose from the sun-fractured, sapphire blue waters of the lagoon, like the reflection of an angel, wings spread, sword in hand, descending from the heavens.

"It moved across the surface of the water, gliding along the banks of the lagoon, glittering in the sunlight. After circling the lagoon three times, it stopped, and though it was without material substance, gave forth a piercing sound that was filled with despair and sadness, like a starving animal, cold and alone, imprisoned in a cage of water and light."

"Wait a minute," the man at the bar said. "The origin story for Lil's Lagoon involves a sea monster?"

It was a quiet, early afternoon and Lil's wasn't what you would call busy. There was a working man wearing a t-shirt and jeans at a table near the front window eating a burger and fries, sipping from a tall glass of beer between bites, and a well dressed man at the bar drinking a Chi Chi. There was a sign behind the bar that read…

 The Story of Lil's Lagoon

A Tale Well Told for just $5.00! 

It was an offer the man at the bar had not been able to resist. It was his first time at Lil's. He knew most of the bars along Beach Road and wasn't sure he'd even seen the place before today; it was as if it had appeared overnight. How had he missed it before? He was curious and had happily put his $5 on the bar.

"Did I call the creature a monster?" the bartender said, with a tone that the man at the bar couldn't be sure he understood. Was the bartender angry for some reason or was he kidding?

"N-N-No," the man at the bar stuttered. "You didn't. I apologize. Go on."

The bartender seemed deep in thought for a moment. "No," he said. "You have proven yourself unworthy."

"I've proven myself unworthy? Okay," the man said with a smile at this seeming childishness on the bartender's part. He raised his nearly empty glass. "Am I worthy of another Chi Chi?"

The bartender looked at the man with a gaze that made him feel uncomfortably nervous. "No," the bartender said, taking the glass with a sudden, deft movement with his right hand. "You should find another pub."

"What?" the man at the bar said. "You can keep your ridiculous story about the sea mon - I mean, sea creature -  but I can’t have another drink?"

"Get out," the bartender said, retrieving the man's $5 bill from the Tip Jar and putting it back on the bar. "Don't come back. Forever."

The man rose from his barstool and reached for his wallet.

"You can keep your money," the bartender said. 

"Fine," the man said, picking up the $5 bill. "You don't have to worry about me coming back to this dump. It was the worst Chi Chi I've had in my entire life, anyway."

"And yet, you still ordered a second," the bartender said. "Perhaps you have a problem and should seek professional help. The future is not given to everyone, you know?"

The man put on a brave face but even a casual observer would have noted his agitation. Indeed, the only waitress working the lunch shift - the bartender's wife - had watched the proceedings with great interest. "Very funny. And fuck you, asshole," the man at the bar said as he turned and headed for the front door, trying not to walk too fast and look like he was running away.

The bartender waited until the man reached for the door handle, then called out, "Good luck!" The man flinched at the bartender's words, then pulled open the door and stepped out onto the street.

But the man was not lucky, at least, not in a good way.

The man sitting at the table by the front window exclaimed in wonder, “Did you see that?” Before the bartender and his wife could answer that yes they had seen it, the man spoke again, this time his voice was edged with awe. “What was that?”

It was an iridescent eagle as big as a helicopter. Its immense talons seized the unlucky man by the shoulders as he cried out to a god he suddenly believed in with all his heart and soul, and carried him off to the west. 

The waitress walked over to her bartender husband. “He called the monster?” she whispered. 

The bartender sighed and nodded. “He’ll awaken from his nightmare a better man,” he said. 

“Are you sure?” The waitress said. 

“I did,” the bartender said with a smile. 

“Yes,” the waitress said. She leaned across the bar and they kissed. “You did.”