Rooting for Loss

This is the weekend of stress free football. Sort of. Just because New England is on their bye week doesn't mean there aren't games the good citizens of Patriots Nation need to worry about.

Is it cool rooting for another team to lose? Not really. Banking negative karma is gonna get you in the end. Karma is like a boomerang. It goes around and comes around. 

Then again, aren't all moral systems situational?

Yeah. I'm going with that. Of course! Situational football!

The top of my wish list for Week 14 is a Buccaneers win over the Pats top divisional rival, the Bills. Obviously, that would give the Patriots a two-game cushion in the race for the AFC East, but it also would help Tampa Bay in the NFC bracket and increase the odds of Belichick vs. Brady in Super Bowl LVI. 

Get out yer popcorn.

And the low-dose aspirin. 

The Chiefs, Ravens, and Titans - the other division leaders - all losing this weekend seems like the least likely trifecta ever. 

The Chiefs already stomped the Raiders earlier this year (and in Las Vegas) and it appears Kansas City has shaken off their early season SB-loser hangover. I'd much rather see the Patriots take on Patrick Mahomes the Chiefs in Foxborough, thank you very much. If that's going to happen, it probably won't be because of this Sunday's outcome of the Vegas and Kansas City game.

I suppose it's possible Derek Carr could have one of those 400-yard, 4-TD games that makes everyone wonder if it's really Carr who's to blame for the Raiders, or if it's the Raiders who are really to blame for Derek Carr. Of course, that 400-yard, 4-TD game might also come with a back-breaking, nut-punch pick-6 that seals the win for the Chiefs. 

Sadly, it kind of writes itself, doesn't it?

The Titans are playing the Jaguars and, well, thanks for playing, I guess. I should think the news that Derrick Henry looks like he will be back for the playoffs would provide a psychological boost that could manifest itself in a blowout win by Tennessee over Jacksonville. Then again, I was expecting a blowout win by Tennessee over Jacksonville before I saw the update on King Henry. I suppose we might never know what it was that led to that blowout win. Other than Jacksonville kind of sucking, of course.

The Browns are the very definition of bipolar so maybe this is a manic week? They are at home, and playing to keep their playoff hopes alive, so…

Maybe?

Yes?

Anyone?

No?

I'm wondering if John Harbaugh thinks he could beat the Browns without throwing a single forward pass. Not that Harbaugh is competing in a juvenile, puberty-addled, middle school kind of way with Bill Belichick for King of the Prom or anything like that. 

In a game whose outcome is slightly less important to the Patriots but seemingly just as futile in terms of likely outcome is rooting for the Giants to upset the Chargers. I feel badly for my friends who are Giants fans. It seems obvious now that the payment due for those two Super Bowl wins over the Patriots is (at least) a decade (and counting) of pigskin ineptitude. Ineptitude may be putting it too kindly. When you're negotiating a deal with Beelzebub and his legal team, you really need to pay careful attention to those sub-paragraphs. Unless, of course, you don't care that your grandchildren will never know what it's like to see their team hoist the Lombardi Trophy before they die. You monster.

I'll also be rooting for the Saints to beat the Jets because, well, do I really need a reason? 

J. E. S. T. Jest! Jest! Jest!

Go Pats!