Three Strange Days

The more we know, the more we know we don’t know. Our understanding grows arithmetically while our understanding of reality grows geometrically. If not algebraically. Is that a thing? I’ve learned enough math to know I don’t know a lot about math. The pie chart of my math knowledge requires a call out to document the less than single digit slice of my math knowledge. It goes without saying that my knowledge of temporal physics is similarly limited (given, you know, the math involved). So time maybe multi-dimensional. Time may go forwards and backwards at the same time (it feels like that at work sometimes). I know this. Some threads in that big ball of yarn that’s time are finite. They have a beginning and an end. Like the 2013 NFL Season. We’re on the back nine. Well, the back seven. It’s Week 11. Fates are in the process of being sealed.

 

Indianapolis 30, Tennessee 20 – Two weeks ago, these teams were in a much better head space. Now they’re dealing with hard questions about playoff cred. Well, the Colts, anyway. The Titans weren’t going to the playoffs even with Jake Locker but they were edging toward respectability until they stumbled their way to a loss – at home – to the clown car that is the Jacksonville Jaguars. With Jake “Glass” Locker once again injured, Titans fans are warned to avert their eyes as Ryan Fitzpatrick drops back to pass. The Colts and franchise QB Andrew Luck need to wash the stink off from the ass whipping they took – at home – from the usually less than impressive St. Louis Rams. Kellen Clemens will no doubt retire with a winning record head-to-head against Andrew Luck. Small data sample. Okay. But 1-0-0 is still 1-0-0. And we all have to live with that. I’m guessing Clemens will feature largely in sports bar bets after Luck hangs them up fifteen years or so from now, with losers thinking, who the hell was Kellen Clemens?

NY Jets 24, Buffalo 27 – Probably wishful thinking on my part. EJ Manual was just rusty last week, right? The Jets haven’t done anything stupid in a while now. It’s creeping me out.

Baltimore 20, Chicago 17 – The Bears are wounded. That makes them dangerous. If they were real bears. But they’re not.

Cleveland 23, Cincinnati 20 – I’ve lost all faith in the Bengals. It’s like the moment was just too big for them. Maybe they started listening to the Super Bowl talk. Maybe Geno Atkins was even better than we thought. Maybe Andy Dalton is just a red-headed Carson Palmer, after all.

Washington 24, Philadelphia 30 – Whenever I read that Nick Foles has 16 TD passes and 0 INT – as many pigskin pundits and bobbleheads have been more than happy to note following the Eagles win over the Packers – I always think, really? I mean, that just doesn’t sound right. Zero INT. Nick Foles. Same sentence. It isn’t so much Nick Foles as the fact he’s only played in 14 games in his two-year career. For all intents and purposes, he’s a rookie. Peyton Manning threw interceptions when he was a rookie. And Foles does tend to chuck it high and deep on a regular basis which generally leads to a lower completion percentage and a higher interception percentage. Anyway, it’s time for the obligatory “NFC Least” joke. The NFC East is like open mic night at The Improv. Occasionally hilarious. Should Washington win, they will be tied with Philadelphia in the loss column and just a game behind Dallas (on their bye week or they would most assuredly lose, too). The Eagles sit perched atop the NFC East at 5-5-0 despite the fact that they’re 0-4-0 at home. “They’re due,” as I understand it, has no basis in fact but the Eagles can’t go through an entire regular season without winning at least one game at home, can they? Okay, the answer to that is yes, they probably could. Did I mention Nick Foles has 16 TD passes and 0 INT in his seven games this season? Really.

Detroit 38, Pittsburgh 16 – Ben Roethlisberger wants to be a Steeler for life. You wouldn’t be surprised if Pittsburgh drafts a QB in 2014, though, would you? Roethlisberger may want to retire a Steeler but the trade rumors had me wondering how Big Ben might fare with the Vikings or the Rams and what those teams might be able to offer in return.

Atlanta 23, Tampa Bay 24 – This is how quickly things change. We’re already done talking about the Falcons as the most disappointing team of 2013. It is what it is. The pigskin pundits and bobbleheads have picked your rapidly decaying carcass clean and have moved on to more upbeat storylines in New Orleans and Carolina. In an odd way, this is like the Super Bowl for the Falcons and Buccaneers. With the win, the Bucs will pull into a tie for 3^rd place in the NFC South; at the same time, the Falcons would fall into a tie for last place. It’s all about your point of view.

Arizona 20, Jacksonville 21 – Because Carson Palmer.

Oakland 17, Houston 27 – Because Case Keenum.

San Diego 27, Miami 20 – Because the Dolphins are consumed by feelings of guilt and shame.

San Francisco 13, New Orleans 42 – Because Drew Brees.

Green Bay 17, NY Giants 24 – The Giants winning the NFC East is what’s known as a “mathematical possibility.”

Minnesota 13, Seattle 33 – And it won’t be as close as the score indicates.

Kansas City 16, Denver 23 – Peyton Manning is hurt. His ankles are a distressed mess of pain, pain and more pain. But is the Chiefs defense legit? I think they are and I think they’ll force the Broncos to settle for field goals on three or four possessions. Unfortunately, the Chiefs offense is not legit.

New England 34, Carolina 20 – This game means more to the Panthers than it does to the Patriots and usually that’s enough. Carolina’s road win against San Francisco gave notice; following that up with a win against New England would start some Super Bowl chatter. If New Orleans loses on Sunday (they won’t), Carolina will be in position to tie for the NFC South lead. The Patriots, meanwhile, had the best bye week ever. Their competitors for the number two seed (Indianapolis, Cincinnati) both lost last Sunday. The Dolphins and Bills both lost as well. The Jets were also on their bye week so the Patriots maintained their two game lead in the AFC East. If the Jets lose on Sunday (I don’t think so) the Patriots will have even less motivation to win this non-conference game. New England will be getting some players back (Aqib Talib, Shane Vereen) but they are still thin on the D-Line and the offensive line has been inconsistent at best. Carolina likes to run the ball and their D-Line is nasty; their strengths play to New England’s weaknesses. Everything says the Patriots should lose. But it’s Monday night. And it’s Tom Brady. That’s why I’m picking them to win.