Everybody in Detroit is hoping Bobby Lane didn’t say one hundred and fifty years. Well, it’s probably not top of mind for everybody. Not everyone believes in curses. I do. Just not in this case. I don’t believe Bobby Lane cursed the Lions. There are perfectly reasonable explanations for five decades of gridiron futility. (I’m looking at you, Matt Millen.) But that’s so over now. The Lions of 2011 are three rebuilding years removed from the curse. (And Matt Millen.) These young lions in autumn roam the NFL veldt with sinewy grace, stalking their pigskin prey, striking suddenly, an overwhelming force moving with unimaginable speed and violence. Yeah. I just peed a little.
A brief aside…
If I was an NFL Head Coach, I’d have a play called “The Scottish Play.” Maybe a flea-flicker/Statue of Liberty hybrid. Hand-off to running back, running back stops and laterals back to quarterback, quarterback motions to throw but my fastest wide receiver takes the ball in a reverse motion, taking advantage of the defense’s reaction to the obvious passing look (I’d use Matthew Slater if I could switch bodies with Bill Belichick, co-starring with Channing Tatum as Tom Brady in “Being Bill”).
Back to the show…
Power rankings across the blogosphere are dealing with the crazy proposition that the #1 and #2 teams in the NFL sit atop the NFC North. Green Bay is an obvious choice for #1. The Super Bowl champs are 5-0-0 and rocking a +62 point differential. Aaron Rodgers is in the conversation for Best QB in the NFL. As evidenced by their rope-a-dope KO of the Falcons, the Packers will happily spot you 14 points and then just as happily stone you just like jelly roll.
The Lions are the equally obvious choice for #2. Hello! 5-0-0, too! Not to mention the league-leading +70 point differential. They are winning games by a two touchdown margin. Ndamukong Suh is the scariest man on the planet. Megatron plays for them! (Is that legal?) If Matthew Stafford isn’t Mr. Glass, after all, they could jelly roll through their way to the playoffs, too.
Best. Thanksgiving Day Game. Ever.
10-0-0 Packers vs. 10-0-0 Lions. It could happen. With stuffing and gravy.
Like It Matters
Let’s get this straight. The fact that the Indianapolis Colts are 0-5-0 does not prove that Peyton Manning is better than Tom Brady (or Aaron Rodgers). It has absolutely nothing to do with whether Peyton Manning is the greatest quarterback of all time or not. Look, Colts fans, I understand, it’s tough when fate rips your still beating heart from your chest, shows it to you, then takes a bite out of it, but this is where you want to go? The silver lining to 0-5-0 is that it proves Peyton Manning is better than Tom Brady? That’s just a little bit 7th Grade, don’t you think? Wait, are you crying?
I understand why Belichick and the Brady Bunch hit us up with the weekly recitations of the many virtues of this week’s opponent. Still, I can’t help getting caught up in the narrative. The Cowboys are super awesome! ZOMFG! Tony Romo really is an elite quarterback; he just needs to work on being consistent and this could be the week! DeMarcus Ware will rip off Tom Brady’s head and crap down his neck! People! Do you have fresh batteries and two weeks supply of bottled water? Armageddon is coming to Gillette Stadium!
Hold on…
Perhaps I should take a step back.
Crazy…
Certifiably crazy Dolphins WR Brandon Marshall has vowed to do whatever it takes to get kicked out of the upcoming game with the Jets.
And nobody asked, “Are you off your meds?”
Too soon?
Best time of the year…
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