Money is Respect

In a capitalistic society everything is measured in legal tender.  Everything.  Most importantly, social status.  My socioeconomic status is currently at the “has a refrigerator-freezer with and ice-maker in the door” level.  I’m good with that.  Not that I’d mind being at the “has a second house on Maui” level but as my wife often says, that’s not going to happen.  Not unless my “I’ll buy PowerBall whenever I think of it and hope I win $200 million dollars” financial plan plays out in what even I would characterize as an unexpected fashion.  On the other hand, my initial plan to invest in the stock market is hardly looking much better. 

Panic in Detroit

Click your heels together and say, “It’s only pre-season, it’s only pre-season, it’s only pre-season…”

Questions Three

Life is full of questions.  Life is also full of answers.  It’s connecting the two that seems to be the hard part.  And yeah, I’ll be saving “If God loves us then why is there poverty, hunger and starvation?” for later.

Unsolicited Advice

Have you ever noticed how when you’re venting about your miserable life at the proverbial water cooler, enumerating your bosses many faults in profuse detail, gingerly navigating domestic tensions as you suspect your co-workers may actually like your spouse better than they like you, bitterly considering a dystopian future following the election of Rick Perry where global climate change melts the polar ice, unlocking herds of Tyrannosaurus Rex and flocks of pteranodons, cretaceous creatures flash frozen millions of years ago when that meteor as big as Texas turned Hudson Bay into Hudson Bay.  The reanimated thunder lizards move south and eat their way through Montreal, stopped over at the Boston Aquarium to eat all the exhibits, ultimately turning New York’s fashion district into one big human sushi bar and just when you’re getting to your point people will interrupt you and offer you solicitous counsel you have no need of, recommending recently read books on gluten free diets that will not change my life or do anything about my self-esteem in the board room.  But the best is when they tell you how they've already set up their basement with all the supplies necessary to hunker down long enough for the dino-scourge to move on to other population centers in the south...  

You Ready?

Color me giddy.

High Five

Name your top five NFL quarterbacks.  Most of us have – in some order – Tom Brady, Drew Brees, Peyton Manning, Philip Rivers and Aaron Rodgers.  Maybe you like Ben Roethlisberger better than Brees or Rivers.  Michael Vick?  Matt Ryan?  Okay.  Anybody got Eli Manning in their top five?  Show of hands?  No?

The Ocho

Reputation is a funny thing.  Like getting “Stinky” as a nickname in middle school.   You better hope your parents can afford out of state tuition.  Things like that stick.

NFL Re-Boot

With a new CBA, Brett Favre’s retirement (fingers crossed) and the change in kick-off rules, I guess we could call the 2011 season a re-boot.  Not to mention the comeback for They Still Call It Football.  Much like Daunte Culpepper, I'm not sure anybody was waiting four our comeback, but we're back.  And so is football!  Yes, it's only pre-season, but pre-season is the season of hope.  Reason?  Not so much.  Hey, let’s face it.  Who wouldn’t want to live in a world where someone has clicked their heels together and believes there’s no QB like Tavaris Jackson?   Seattle Seahawks fans!  Ba-da-boom!   (Too soon?)  When your starting quarterback goes 3-5 for 33 yard (and NO INTERCEPTIONS!) in a pre-season game and you’re on Expedia the next day booking your Super Bowl trip, you probably should remind yourself that your house is still under water.  If you aren’t rooting for the Eagles, Packers, Saints, Falcons, Patriots, Jets, Steelers, Ravens, Colts or Chargers, relax.  Take that money and buy yourself a 65” 3D TV, instead.  Do it for the kids.