Shrodinger's Football

 The NFL. 

It's just like us. 

We've got guns. We get shot by guns. Uncle Carl is gay. That guy who got the job we wanted? Yeah. That guy. "Motherf--ker."

Fear of Drowning

I share one thing with the Hollywood outlaw, The Sundance Kid. I can't swim.

No, wait. Two things. If they made a movie of my life I'd be played by whoever the young Robert Redford is today. Brad Pitt?

Okay, okay. I share one thing with The Sundance Kid. 

Perchance to Dream

After a long night of tossing and turning, unable to get comfortable, can't stop thinking about that thing you said (or did), and finally falling asleep just before the alarm went off, the last thing you want to see when you open up your browser that morning is a link that seems just a little too spot on:

Poor sleep linked to dementia and early death, study finds.

Like I needed scientists to tell me this.

Pigskin Slut

I am a pigskin slut. Still a Patriots' fan, yes, but I just can't quit Tom Brady.

Maddening

Can anything stop Tom Brady? 

How about a good old fashioned curse?

Mortal Manners

Observation: Never make an apology at a funeral.

Best Actor in a Quarterbacking Role

The NFL is like the most successful movie franchise in the history of everything. Every year, another sequel, another box office smash, followed by another sequel the next year. There's conflict, back story, subplots, adversity, and triumph. Not everybody likes the ending but they have hope - even in Detroit - their heroes may be featured in the final frames of next season's Best Picture winner. There are plenty of opportunities for star turns in supporting roles but let's state the obvious: The quarterbacks are the leads, the nominees for Best Actor, and the focus of our vicarious, sepia-toned dreams.