Throwing Punches At The Universe

The house always wins. It's easy to forget when you're throwing punches at the universe. The universe plays rope-a-dope with all of us. You think that left hook connected. You think that right cross really did some damage. Then the universe just winks and smiles. And when you wake up, that's the last thing you remember.

Picking My Scab

Peter King thinks he thinks Commissioner Roger Goodell should give the Patriots back the draft picks he took away for Deflategate. So do a lot of other pigskin pundits and bobbleheads, too. The ones not named Bill Plaschke, that is.

They also think it won't happen.

Spoiler Alert: It has nothing to do with the integrity of the game.

Or the commissioner.

Fear Itself

If it's true that all we have to fear is fear itself then I'm afraid. I'm very afraid.

Legacy

When you hear the name Ty Cobb, what's the first thing that comes to mind? Is it one of the greatest hitters in major league history? Or is it redneck racist asshole?

Here's the weird thing. Both answers are correct.

The Kids Are Alright

I'm going green.

This Is The End

Wait-What? There's a Super Bowl tomorrow? And the Patriots aren't in it?

Is this some kind of crazy dream? Somebody, please, pinch me.

Be gentle, though. I have a really low pain threshold.

What We Deserve

Back in the day – way back in the day – a philosopher named Joseph de Maistre said, "Every nation gets the government it deserves."

That's why I believe Donald J. Trump will be the next President of the United States.