Pigskin Wishcasting

I'm guessing Tom Petty was probably right. There ain't no easy way out.

No, I'm not going to say any of this will be easy. And you know that I know that you know that if I really knew what I was talking about, I wouldn't be sharing it with you; I'd be betting the mortgage on prop bets and checking real estate listings in Bali. 

I do know enough to know there are way too many variables involved, lotta ins and a lotta outs, as the Dude said. Besides, I already paid the mortgage for January.

If you've watched enough football, you know that anything can happen. The ball has pointy ends. It bounces funny and not in a funny "ha ha" way. It's a sport that will make even the sanest of humans believe not just in luck, but in a capricious and emotionally unavailable God. 

So, you're saying there's a chance the Patriots could win Super Bowl LX?

Yes, that's what I'm saying. Also, the world could end tomorrow. But I digress…

As with any of the teams in the playoffs, of course, a number of things will need to break the Patriots way. 

First things first, the Patriots need to continue to get healthier. The depth pieces for New England have been up to the challenge so far, but the Pats need to get their best on the field to win in the playoffs.

Getting Robert Spillane and Harold Landry III back on defense, following the return of Milton Williams in the season finale, would provide a significant boost to the unit that wins championships. To a lesser extent - as Ben Brown has filled in admirably - getting Jared Wilson back on the offensive line, next to Will Campbell, who also returned from IR in the Dolphins game, would provide a boost to an already effective offensive line unit in both the run game and in pass protection.

Wildcard Round

I guarantee you Mike Vrabel will remind his team once or twice this week that the Chargers wanted this smoke. They rested starters rather than try to win against the Broncos, guaranteeing that Denver would have the #1 seed instead of New England, and ensuring San Diego would be coming to Foxborough next Sunday. 

The Chargers didn't want to face the Bills or the Jaguars.

They wanted the Patriots.

Patriots 41, Chargers 16

Divisional Round

Meanwhile, the Bills advance with a win over the Jaguars, and the Steelers leverage home field for a win over the Texans. (Note: I don't think either of those outcomes occur IRL but remember, I'm writing a movie here.) That sends the Bills to face the Broncos in Denver and the Steelers to play the Patriots in New England. As a Patriots fan, I want the Steelers, so I can scrub that Week 3 loss from every pigskin synapse in my brain.

Patriots 42, Steelers 9

AFC Championship

In terms of "choose your own adventure" stories, I've got some storytelling interest in both narratives still open.

Denver has not been kind to the Patriots in the past, but, New England is 8-0-0 on the road in 2025, and a season where the Patriots won at Buffalo, at Miami, and at Denver in the playoffs would be special.

Patriots 20, Broncos 12

Beating Buffalo a second time - at home - would leave little doubt as to who runs the AFC East now, but, when it comes to "anything can happen" scenarios, Josh Allen is the anythingest, so, yeah, there's that.

Patriots 35, Bills 31

Super Bowl

Unfortunately, I don't think the Panthers will make it out of the NFC bracket, though the North Carolina/Cam Newton's "Fool's Gold" storylines would've been fun, but…

Come on! It's got to be the Rams. There's plenty of Super Bowl history for these two teams, plus, the 2025 MVP debate. This would be close to a dream scenario for the NFL, with plenty of juice worth the squeeze in the two-week long pre-game show, though in the Patriots case, more of a nightmare on the field. Only one team in the NFL scored more points that the Patriots (490) in 2025; the Los Angeles Rams (518). 

Which is another good reason why Roger Goodell should be storyboarding that movie right now. 

But since I'm controlling the narrative here, I'm giving the ball to Drake Maye last, with 0:37 left, who drives the Patriots into field goal range where Andres Borregales hits the gamewinner as time expires.

Yeah. I have seen that movie before.

I could watch it over and over and over again.

It never gets old.

Patriots 52, Rams 49

Epilogue

Okay. That would be fun for me and my fellow citizens of Patriots Nation. 

Is it going to happen? Probably not but who can say? I do know one thing, though. 

No matter how the 2025 season ends for the Patriots, I can hardly wait for 2026.

Go Pats!