I'm not a big fan of roller coaster rides but at least I didn't throw up at the end of this one.
They seemed for about three quarters of the game like a memory of those Patriots teams of yore. The defense was stout (until things got crazy in the 4th) and while they all deserve some credit, it would be wrong not to mention Christian Barmore by name. Barmore was credited with 8 tackles, with 3 sacks and 2 tackles for a loss. Dominant. Or Jeremiah Pharms (who?) stealing a fumble and somebody's lunch money. A special teams' score! Pop Douglas not getting knocked out of a game on a questionable hit! Running out to a 23-7 lead!
Of course, there were signs of what was to come in the 4th quarter. The sack/fumble on the Patriots' first snap. Chad Ryland missing a "Nick Folk would've made it" field goal by a lot and doinking an extra point. Those four points would've made the outcome a little less dispeptic but you know how the pigskin gods love drama.
I get that nobody outside of New England cares (and most of us here don't care all that much either) but Bailey Zappe leading that last minute drive and Chad Ryland tossing the goat horns aside in favor of the victor's wreath by nailing the 56-yard game-winning field goal while David Bowie sang "We can be heroes/Just for one night" in my head is surely why we watch sports. Got to think Chad Ryland never had a better Christmas in his life. Even better than the Official Red Ryder carbine action two-hundred shot range model air rifle he got when he was 9-years old.
Though he had been kicking lately like he did shoot his eye out.
I suppose I can now look forward to a week of reheated hot takes on Belichick's future, Bailey Zappe's true identity, and which one of the top QB prospects is sure to slip through the Patriots' fingers in the 2024 draft. We've moved on from caring about Mac Jones' best chance for a second act, haven't we? Yes. Yes we have.
For a moment, at least, Patriots Nation can be at peace. We can have a little Bailey's in that morning coffee. We can shuffle through the torn wrapping paper, the tangled ribbons, and the already broken toys to look out at the dirty brown mess that we charitably call our lawns this fine Christmas morning and catch ourselves before we can wish for snow because some wishes do come true. I didn't fill the gas cans for the snow blower because I want to use it; that's a reverse jinx, my man.
Merry Christmas to all who celebrate and all the best of the holiday season to you and yours whatever you celebrate, for that matter.
Go Pats!
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