Why Did It Have To Be The Jets?

To paraphrase Indiana Jones: The Jets. Why did it have to be the Jets?

I know, I know; it's hard to call it a rivalry when one team wins all the time. This is Boston/New York, though, and while that's all you really need, there's no shortage of subplots in the aptly named Border War. Parcells, Curtis Martin, Belichick, Mangini, Spygate, Rex Ryan, Darrelle Revis. And while Tom Brady's 24-8 record (.750) against the Jets is close to his career winning percentage overall (.774), there's just something about the Jets. Even Brady hates the Jets!

If you live west of the Connecticut River and you hear Patriots vs. Jets the first thing that comes to mind is probably the Butt Fumble. The Butt Fumble is iconic, of course, but it was just the second of three TDs scored by the Patriots in just 53 seconds. 21 points in under a minute!

This is how the rest of the world ships Patriots/Jets. Fair enough. The Patriots haven't lost to the Jets in Foxborough in the regular season since 2006. So, what is it?

Spygate

Even Eric Mangini feels bad about how this went down. To which I say, "Fuck you, Eric Mangini. Fuck your remorse, fuck your duplicity, fuck your chances of coaching in the NFL ever again."

You Never Forget A Broken Heart

You may have noted the "in the regular season" qualifier in the paragraph above. Right. 2010. Well, January 16, 2011 to be exact. After getting absolutely crushed 45-3 in Foxborough in December, the Jets came back to 1 Patriots Place and knocked New England out of the playoffs with a 28-21 win.

The 2010 Patriots were 14-2-0 in the regular season. It may be the best Patriots team of the Belichick/Brady era to not win a Super Bowl.

The New York State of Mind

Is it fair to hate New Yorkers for acting like New Yorkers?

It's the only reason to hate New Yorkers!

Listening to the Jets, their local pigskin pundits and bobbleheads, their fans, you'd never guess they were on the wrong end of that 24-8 record, that they haven't won a Super Bowl since the Beatles were topping the charts, or that the Patriots have ever beaten the Jets fair and square.

Well, when it comes to cheating, I suppose the Jets would know all about that.

Maybe it's denial spun into a deranged and uncontrollable rage that just won't shut it's pie hole; the lurking spectre of what might've been if Bill Belichick hadn't resigned as HC of the NYJ and Tom Brady had been drafted by Belichick and those Jets had gone on to dominate the NFL for nearly two decades. All that pigskin joy stolen from them by Boston of all places.  

Not gonna lie. Even considering that parallel universe is deeply troubling for me.

When Bad Teams Win Big Games

This is a big game for the Patriots with playoff-seeding implications but it's the Super Bowl for the Jets.

That Super Bowl's a metaphor, of course. At 4-11-0 the Jets aren't going anywhere but home after this weekend. They have nothing to win, really, but more importantly, they have nothing to lose. They can play loose, fake punts, fake field goals, fake an orgasm, go for it on 4th down, dial up the trick plays. Losing this game literally doesn't matter; a close loss with newly minted franchise QB Sam Darnold going off for 300+ yards passing and 3+ TDs would give the Jets and their fans hope that 2019 will be different.

Oh wait… Nothing to win?

They could knock the Patriots out of a bye week. Not exactly a Super Bowl but it's something.

Something? When you're the little brother, beating your big brother in a pickup game of basketball is Game 7 of the NBA Championship. This game is everything for the Jets.

Failing To Work Up To Expectations

What sounds more plausible to you in the context of this 2018 season of Patriots football?

The Jets pulling off the upset or Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski playing a vintage TB12 and Gronk kind of game?

Uh huh.

Sam Darnold passing for 300 yards or the Patriots Defense pitching a shutout?

Yeah.

Look, I know what you're thinking. New England is undefeated at home this year and have won a mind-boggling 86% of Tom Brady's home starts for his career. The Patriots are 13.5 point favorites; the money always knows and the money is only trying to convince bettors the Jets will lose by 13 points or fewer. So, why am I worried?

It's the Jets.