The Henhouse

Henrietta Hen shook out her feathers and clucked. It was morning. The sky was clear and blue. Today was the day. It would be a good day, Henrietta clucked.

Her sisters stood in their nests and stretched, flapping their wings, shaking out their feathers, clucking a good morning in return; Penelope "Penny" Hen, a Golden Comet like Henrietta,  Paprika the Rhode Island Red, and Jenny Hen the Speckled Sussex. Yes, today was the day. They had agreed last night. 

They had taken all they were going to take from that mean, loudmouthed, not at all nice Rex, the Plymouth Rock rooster.

"Everyone ready for this?" Penny Hen clucked.

"What is this, again?" Paprika clucked.

"It's called an intervention," Henrietta Hen clucked. "It's all about helping Rex be a better rooster."

"Oh, right," Paprika clucked. "I know we talked about it but I just don't know if I think Rex can be a better rooster."

"You've got to believe," Henrietta Hen clucked.

"Remember," Penny Hen clucked. "Keep a positive mind set."

Penny Hen noticed that Jenny Hen was hiding her head under her wing.

"Are you ready for this, Jenny Hen?" Penny Hen clucked.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Jenny Hen clucked.

"Steady, girl," Penny Hen clucked.

"You've got this," Henrietta Hen clucked. "We all do."

Penny Hen held her head up high and flapped her wings. 

"That's it!" Paprika clucked.

"I'm ready," Jenny Hen clucked.

"And just in time," Penny Hen clucked.

Rex strutted into the henhouse, his chest out. "I called the sun again this morning, ladies. You can thank me later."

"You called the sun?" Henrietta Hen clucked. 

"I cockle-doodle-did," Rex crowed. "I called. The sun came out. What am I missing?"

"The difference between correlation and causation, for one thing," Henrietta clucked.

"I suppose you hung the moon last night, too," Penny Hen clucked. "Oh, wait. No you didn't."

"Moon?" Rex clucked. "What's a moon?"

"He's as dumb as he is stupid," Paprika clucked.

"Be positive," Henrietta Hen clucked.

"I'm positive he's as dumb as he is stupid," Paprika clucked.

"Hey, now," Rex clucked. "You should show a little respect. I've got dinosaur blood running through these veins."

"The sun doesn't need you any more than we need your toxic roosterlinity," Penny Hen clucked. 

"Toxic rooster-whatsit?" Rex clucked.

"First of all, you just strut in here like the cock of the walk," Penny Hen clucked.

"But," Rex clucked, "I am the cock of the walk."

"Without so much as a by your leave," Henrietta Hen clucked

"Or even asking permission to enter," Penny Hen clucked.

Henrietta Hen clucked softly to Penny Hen, "I think that's what 'by your leave' means."

"Whatever, the point is that this is our house!" Penny Hen clucked. "The henhouse! Put some respect on that!"

"Or calling us 'chicks.' Like we're just children," Henrietta Hen clucked. "We're grown hens. Put some respect on that, too!"

"Not to mention your incredibly juvenile and insensitive comments about our breasts and thighs," Paprika clucked.

"You're all Grade A, ladies," Rex clucked, bobbing his head and tossing his comb from left to right and back again. "Every single one of you!"

"It's degrading," Henrietta Hen clucked.

"Degrading? It's not like I called you Grade B or even worse, Grade C," Rex clucked defensively. "That would be degrading." Rex paused. "You see what I did there? De? Grading?"

"He really is dumb," Penny Hen said.

"And stupid," Henrietta Hen said.

"Ladies! Come on! Those were compliments," Rex protested.

"We're more than the sum of our parts," Penny Hen clucked.

"I don't know what a 'caboose' is," Jenny Hen clucked, "but I don't think you meant that as a compliment!"

"Just more of you to love," Rex clucked. "Who needs a hug?"

Jenny Hen flapped her wings in anger but her eyes were full of tears. Her sisters rushed to comfort her.

"Get out, you monster!" Henrietta clucked, flapping her wings and standing as tall as she could.

"You can't let him define you," Penny Hen clucked to Jenny Hen

"Or demean you," Paprika clucked.

"Consider the source," Penny Hen clucked.

"Dumb and stupid," Paprika clucked

"You're a big, beautiful hen," Henrietta clucked. "You own it, sister. I only wish I had your curves." Penny and Paprika clucked in agreement. 

Jenny Hen took a deep breath and clucked, "I love you all so much."

"So," Rex clucked. "We're good then?"

"Get out," Henrietta Hen clucked.

"But, what about breakfast?" Rex clucked. "We don't want to be late to the barnyard for some delicious cracked corn."

"Out," Penny Hen clucked.

"You better get out of the henhouse before Little Annie Farmer catches you in here while Jenny Hen still has tears in her eyes," Paprika clucked.

"Maybe you haven't noticed," Henrietta Hen clucked, "but ever since that day she caught you chasing Penny Hen in the yard -"

"Little Annie Farmer didn't catch me doing anything!" Rex clucked.

"She showed us the video she took on her phone," Henrietta Hen clucked with satisfaction.

"I'm her favorite," Penny Hen clucked with smug satisfaction. "So, now you know."

"Video?" Rex clucked, confused.

"Little Annie Farmer has been watching you like a hawk," Paprika clucked.

"What? A hawk!" Rex clucked and began running around the henhouse. "Where? Hawk! Hawk! Hawk! Run, ladies, run!"

Henrietta Hen, Penny Hen, Paprika, and Jenny Hen cackled with laughter.

"Dinosaur blood," Penny Hen clucked. 

"I guess we know what happened to the dinosaurs," Paprika clucked.

"Yeah, they turned chicken," Henrietta Hen clucked.

"I was creating a diversion!" Rex clucked defensively. 

"We're inside, Rex. In the henhouse," Jenny Hen clucked. 

Rex did his best to compose himself. "I've got somewhere else to be," he clucked, as he turned to leave.

"Then you should go there," Paprika clucked.

"Tell Little Annie Farmer I said hi," Penny Hen clucked.

Rex stopped in his tracks. He looked back at them. Now it was Rex's turn to shed a tear.

"So now you know, Rex," Penny Hen clucked, "just how we feel when you're mean to us."

"You're supposed to protect us," Jenny Hen clucked.

"Real strength comes from the heart," Paprika clucked. "Not your spurs."

"Everything isn't just about you," Henrietta Hen clucked. "It's about us."

"All of us," Paprika clucked.

Rex didn't say a word. He shook the tears out of his eyes and strutted out of the henhouse and into the yard.

Henrietta Hen clucked, "Do you think it will make a difference?"

"It made a difference in me," Jenny Hen clucked. 

"You were very brave," Paprika clucked.

"We all were," Penny Hen clucked.

The next morning, Henrietta Hen awoke to a tapping sound. It was Rex the Rooster, pecking at the frame of the entry to the henhouse.

"Good morning Rex," Henrietta Hen clucked.

"Good morning Henrietta Hen," Rex clucked. "May I come in?"

Penny Hen, Jenny Hen, and Paprika were all awake now, too. "What do you all say?"

Paprika and Jenny Hen nodded. "Good morning Rex," Penny Hen clucked. "Come in."

Rex strutted slowly into the henhouse.

"I see you called the sun again this morning," Paprika clucked.

"All right, Paprika," Rex clucked, "I'll admit I don't literally call the sun. It's really more of a kind of a partnership thing, I guess you could say."

"Partnership?" Penny Hen clucked.

Henrietta Hen clucked, "It's progress. He's trying, anyway." 

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings, Jenny Hen," Rex clucked. "I really am."

"I accept your apology, Rex," Jenny Hen clucked.

"Jenny Hen, Penny Hen, Henrietta Hen, Paprika," Rex clucked, "would you care to join me for breakfast in the barnyard?"

"That sounds lovely, Rex," Penny Hen clucked.

Henrietta Hen thought this new day was off to a very good start.