Let's Keep Looking

I think aliens visit us on planet Earth on the regular. They just don't stay.

And I think I know why they don't.

When I was a kid and my father was stationed at Fort Carson in Colorado, our summer vacations were two week-road trips in the family station wagon. North to national parks one summer; Yellowstone and Old Faithful, Grand Teton, Glacier National Park, Mount Rushmore. South to natural and man-made wonders the next summer; Grand Canyon, Hoover Dam, Las Vegas, the great meteor crater and the Petrified Forest National Park. My dad had an itinerary planned out but finding a place to stay for the night was largely a matter of chance. Toward the end of each day, my mom would look for lodgings signs and we would follow the signs to a motel in hopes of finding a vacancy sign. Sometimes we would find that vacancy sign, pull up to a space in front of the office and my mom would say, "Let's keep looking."

I think the aliens take one good look at this skeevy, bug-infested, underlit, dilapidated motel of a planet and like my mom they say, "Let's keep looking."

Maybe that's a good thing. We're far more likely to be food than peers to a race of beings capable of intergalactic space travel. Seems like a long way to go for a snack, though.

I'm guessing they're looking for Kirk, Picard, Star Fleet, the Federation, and some explanation for how radio waves emanating from the 1960s and 1980s describe people and events from the 22nd and 24th centuries. Of course, I'm assuming temporal physics will be the lingua franca of the future. It's an anomaly on its surface but surely these beings would have sufficient intellect to be able to understand television and the inherent risks in bringing a small screen success to the big screen. 

With all apologies to "The Day the Earth Stood Still," I find it hard to believe alien beings would see us as a threat. Maybe to ourselves but hardly to others. I suppose the utter destruction of planet Earth could have a knock on effect for our solar system that might, like the butterfly beating its wings in Malaysia causing a thunderstorm in Argentina, create an interplanetary demolition derby pinballing across the outer rim of the Milky Way. That would be bad. Bad enough to attract the attention of intelligent entities that vacation in the bright lights of the Crab Nebula?

I can't picture the "aliens as deus ex machina" scenario, either. The notion that we would unite as a planet against the threat of alien invasion is obviously laughable (in a ruefully laughing way), as is the notion that we would accept the good will and assistance from intergalactic visitors to better ourselves and save the planet we've spent our entire existence attempting to destroy. Even after one of the aliens lost his temper and vaporized an asshole who kept calling him "E.T." and asking him where exactly did he touch Elliot, there would be those who called it a Hollywood stunt, fake news; a conspiracy organized by the deep state, liberal elites, globalists, and certain social media influencers. There would be voices whispering warnings against the medicines, technologies, and dietary advice provided by our space truckin' benefactors.

Just because they're techno savvy, doesn't mean the aliens also have high emotional IQ, but maybe they get all of that. Maybe they just come here for the comedy but after a few orbits and a fly by on Mexico City they remember the jokes are all 2,000 years old and human beings taste like cigarettes and soggy corn flakes.

Let's keep looking.