Did you know a home defibrillator is just $1,275?
Just one time, I'd like to see the Patriots win a Super Bowl in a blowout. I'd like to sip my vodka martini instead of pouring it into my gullet in two gulps. I'd like to see TB12, Gronk, and Jules on the sideline early in the 4th quarter, laughing, hugging, their helmets nowhere in sight while Brian Hoyer hands off to Rex Burkhead.
This isn't how the Patriots win (or lose) Super Bowls, though. It's always a moment of sudden, explosive elation or a sucker punch to the nuts. If you're one of those people who say you wouldn't have it any other way let me say as respectfully as possible, please shut the fuck up.
I would much rather have it 41-3, thank you very much.
Not that this is the New England Patriots roster you would think capable of that. As you may have heard, they're old, slow, have no playmakers on offense and their defense can't stop anyone.
In that regard, this feels more like that SB36 Patriots team. These SB53 Pats might scratch out a win based on game plan, disciplined execution, and a game-winning field goal in the 4th quarter but 41-3?
Sony Michel would have to run for 150+ yards. Stephon Gilmore would need to give us 2+ interceptions and have us talking about Ty Law, back in the day, owning Peyton Manning. Or Trey Flowers would need to knock Jared Goff out of the game with a 1st quarter sack that puts the Rams QB in the concussion protocol. Rob Gronkowski would need to reach back for 2014 Gronk. They would need to block a kick. No, two kicks. Kyle Van Noy would need to complete whatever protocol it is (no doubt developed by Ernie Adams and implemented in subterranean labs hundreds of feet below Gillette Stadium) that turns cast off linebackers like Mike Vrabel and Rob Ninkovich into Do Your Job stalwarts who make big plays in big moments; a scoop and score defensive TD.
Can the Patriots continue to play like it's 1999, line up in 21 personnel with Brady under center, pointing at the Mike, yelling, "We're coming at you!" and run the ball with success? Can Julian Edelman and James White continue to get open underneath and move the chains?
Does Tom Brady have one more Top 10 game left in him?
Okay, it feels that way but is it?
NFL Network had a Super Bowl highlights marathon on today and I caught the 30 minute version of SB36. That team was 14 point underdogs. That team scratched out a win based on game plan, disciplined execution and won on a last second field goal. At one point in the game I noticed Richard Seymour and I remembered that 2001 Patriots team had Seymour, Ty Law, Willie McGinest, and Mike Vrabel before anyone knew who they were.
And Tom Brady, of course, before anyone knew he was TB12.
Maybe this 2018 edition of the New England Patriots is the team we've seen in the playoffs and not the team we saw Week 3 in Detroit. They aren't getting nearly as much pub as the Rams defensive line but maybe the Pats offensive line is that good. Maybe Chris Hogan is faster than you think. Maybe a healthy Dont'a Hightower is going to remind us just how good he was in SB51.
Maybe there are just as many Phillip Dorsetts, Cordarrelle Pattersons, Elandon Roberts, and Dwayne Allens on this Patriots team as there were JR Redmonds, Troy Browns, Roman Phifers and Jermaine Wiggins on that 2001 team.
Maybe you just don't know them yet.
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