Is God a Dick?

So, once again a group of people have killed a whole bunch of other people, for the greater glory of God. It's been going on for a few thousand years now. I'm thinking it's a trend. It would be "on fleek" if "on fleek" was still a thing. It's got me wondering. Is God a Dick?

 

Maybe the God of David is a lot more like Zeus than would make Christians comfortable. He did have sex with a human. (That's what I heard.) Maybe God is a moody giant with telekinetic power. Good-looking, no doubt. Ripped. Six pack. Runs four triathlons a year. Always wins, of course. Some anger management issues, though. Inner child tantrums.

Maybe God is barely a teenager in god-years and the world is all just a massively multiplayer online first person shooter video game with infinite levels. As flies to wanton boys are we. God is that guy nobody has ever met with the avatar "Sgt. Elohim" who has like a million kills. You heard about those guys you want to stand next to if you're ever in a war because he has that light around him and you know he's going to make it out? That ain't Sgt. Elohim. That dude is a lightning rod for action and the collateral damage that comes with it. Even if it never touches Him you don't want to be in the middle of that shit storm He seems to live for.

Maybe there is no God. Maybe we are on our own which would explain why we are so totally fucked.

Maybe I expect too much of God. His record certainly doesn't justify my high expectations. War, famine, disasters of (well, what else can I say?) Biblical proportions. Let God take the wheel? Does anyone still think that's a good idea? Is God an angry drunk? That would explain a lot.

At times like these…

At times like these.

At times like these I'm happy to be unaffiliated. As an atheist I've got an unobstructed view. I can be disappointed, disgusted and saddened without any end times implications. Even so, I'm not sure what to say after Paris. Kill all the bad guys?

Can you do that for me? I've heard you're an angry drunk; would you like some tequila?

That's not really possible?

Not even for God?

I didn't think so.